My Whatever Book

hey...

Wed, Jun 24
    So I'm home. We've been making plans so I can see kalie. We have no wifi right now, but Mom got data on her phone.
    Um well me Mom and jake were talking. It made me realize alot of things.
    Things I want to share with y'all. It has also left me with a BIG question- was I wrong?
    My past isn't pretty and we were talking about sensitive things. I will not disclose what we were talking about only a little bit.
    Mom feels like she failed us. I don't personally think so but you can't really change some ones emotions.
    I tried to tell her like we have what we need and ah like yeah. Anywho, I'm emotional today.
    I have alot I want to talk about: well write.
   Mom has problems. Like mental problems. She's not like psycho but she does have some difficulties.
   The main reason I want to be a psychologist is so that i might be able to understand myself more and her.
    Anyway...

Can someone really hate another? Like when you learn of someone elses darkness (some one who you are not fond of) can you like REALLY hate that person? After all the awful things the have done can you REALLY hate them after you learn some things and you can sympathize with what they grew up with?

    I don't feel hate with that person. Mom never hated him I guess she understood that person and really knew that person. I always have resented that person.
    I don't feel that hate after hearing some things that that person had to go through.
    Even though that person had a hard life that person had no right to do what he did to mom.
    That person ruined a lot of things for us. That person hurt mom on a very deep level. That person distoryed mom.
   
So what do I do now? Do I sympathize with that person? I know I will never forgive or forget what that person did?

I need some advice.
    Anyway when glenn brought me home (a day ago) we stopped at grandma'ss house. Gradma passed away a long time ago. She was very dear to us. But we went there because paula had some clothes for mom from memaw who has also passed away.
    I haven't seen paula since gradma died about 4 years ago. A lot of junk happened with those people and mom. But it was nice seeing paula. She asked me how I was and gave me a hug. She also gave me some of her clothes that don't fit her anymore.
    It was nice. It was hard going back to that house tho. We used to live in that house with grandma me and the boys and mom.
    I've been thinking about a lot of things recently. Too many things. I just needed to let some of it out.
    That kind of sums up some of the things.

P.s. I don't know what's going to happen with this thing with out wifi but we'll see

P.s.2. I figured it out I can just save it then post it when we get wifi.

P.s.3. why have I posted these I'm dumb I could've just saved them