geminids [C. TARTAGLIA]

09

you watched while his whole body disappeared in front of you, yellow streaks of orbs floating for each second that passed. even though his face was halfway gone, he still managed to carve a smile on his lips.

i love you, was what he said.

it was unfair, wasn't it? how he chose to end his own life to save yours even though you planned on ending it from the start.

he died for you, and you tried to live for him.

no longer can you feel his presence in your arms, it was as if he never existed. just like that, the prince you were supposed to sacrifice your life for was gone.

suddenly you were in another place. this time, you lay on his lap as you watched him bleed from the stab wound you caused. he looked pale, so much blood had already been lost.

it was okay, was what he said.

it wasn't. you killed him, it was your fault he died over and over again. no matter what you did, you just couldn't save him.

you wanted to wake up from whatever hellish nightmare this was, was that too much to ask? all you wanted was for childe to not die in such a cruel way– you didn't care if your life was on the line.

the horses that neighed outside the lodge were what snapped you out of your thoughts this time. you were alone inside the small house, childe left you this morning before you even had the chance to wake up.

you were left alone in your own thoughts, curled up inside your room as you tried your best to push the voices in your head away.

he'll be alright, he'll be fine this time. you can save him.

you tried to control your breathing– inhale and exhale, just calm down for now. your hands slowly started to not tremble anymore, the piercing noise in your ear fading away.

he'll be fine, he's strong after all, he won't get into some sort of danger this time.

fuck, who were you even kidding? you couldn't even fool yourself anymore. if he was as strong as he claimed he was, then you wouldn't get stuck in a loop all these years. if he was, then–

no. no, you didn't mean that. god– you wanted to bang your head against the wall for even thinking of putting the blame on him. you were just tired, you felt drained out. never in a million years would you try to blame him for his own death. if anything, you have yourself to blame.

and so the cycle goes. one minute you're fine, the next you're being consumed in your own thoughts again.

this was why you wanted to be with him, you couldn't control what you were thinking if you were to be left alone. you should've gone with him, you should know what he was up to right now.

"he'd think i'm a stalker if i did..." you mutter, hugging your legs to your chest. "damn you childe."

°

"alright, this spot should be good for now. everyone take a short break." childe stood atop a large rock in hopes of getting the men's attention.

"yes sir!"

he took a seat and took out a water bottle he brought with him, taking a drink to refresh himself. it was almost dark out, they had been gone the whole day hiking the mountain as part of their training.

"hey, have you seen that girl...?"

"you mean the one with the fangs that's always with master childe?"

"i heard she's not even human."

"she's hot though, ain't she?"

he heard some soldiers chatting amongst themselves near him. he tried not to pay attention to it and moved further away from them.