The Masters Brothers - Driven (Completed)

11. Beatrice

When I saw his car spin off my heart had stopped, the TV coverage moving away from the scene and I had paced before grabbing the phone and texting Blake's number. I knew it would open up a way of communicating but I had to know he was alright...

When he called me back, I had stared at the phone in my hand before answering it, not knowing what sort of reaction I was going to get, would he be mad at me still.

"Hello?" my voice shakes.
"Bea, I'm okay, it was just a spin" Blake's voice tells me and I feel relief hit me, I know it's a dangerous sport but accidents are few, usually but when they happen they can be very bad.
"You scared me, I was watching on the TV, it looked bad, promise me you're okay" I stutter out, not knowing how to talk to him. 
"I've missed talking to you, I would have crashed the first week if I'd have know you would contact us. Simons going to be mad he missed this, maybe he'll crash too" he tells me softly and I rush to tell him no.
"Blake... don't say that, I can't, please just don't"
"I promise to avoid crashing when I can but I want something back" I can hear the determination in his voice and know he wants something.
"What?" I know I sound wary.
"We will stay away till the end of the season, but I want to be able to talk to you, hear your voice, can we do that, all of us, you me and Simon" he asks me and I sniff, trying to get hold of my emotions.
"Please Bea" He whispers.
"Okay"
"Thank you baby" I can hear voices in the background and know people will be chasing for his time, "Can we call you tonight?" the sounds in his background getting louder and I know he's out of time.

"Yes... just please be careful"

"I promise, speak to you later baby" he says before ringing off.

On auto pilot I spend the rest of the afternoon between watching the qualifying racing and cooking, I had tried to focus on my book but I couldn't, seeing Blake crash like that had brought home to me just how much they meant to me and my heart was screaming at me to be back at their sides.  Once the racing coverage had finished I felt a little relief, they were both safe, no more crashes today.

"Just three more weeks" I muttered as I mixed up cookie dough, but it sounded like forever to me.  My brain telling me we would get through this and it would be good for all of us. I had sent Mama August a text letting her know I had spoken to Blake and agreed to talk to them on the phone, she had messaged back telling me to remember I was in control and the boys promised to wait until the end of the season before making any moves.  She also sent her and their dads love and best wishes to me and said she couldn't wait to hear about the publishing deal.  I had blushed and promised to phone her tomorrow, tamping down my excitement about the deal they had offered for my work... I was going to be a published author.

At eight the phone rang and even though I had thought I was ready for this, my heart raced and my palms twitched as I answered the call.

"Bea Bea" Simons voice swirled through the air around me and I bit my lip to try to control my reaction to it.

"Hey" I muttered out cursing the wobble to my voice.

"How are you?" He asks carefully and I cant stop the tears from falling.

"I miss you both, and, and I'm sorry" I cry 

"Baby, its not your fault, you have nothing to say sorry for, we do!" Blakes voice rises as he and Simon both apologise as well.

"Bea, baby please stop crying, its killing me to hear you like this and not be able to hold you" Simon soothes and I wipe my eyes and blow my nose, hearing then laugh softly as I get myself back in control.

"Are you okay Bea, honestly?" Simon asks again and i know i have to be truthful if anything is to work after these weeks apart.

"I was so hurt by the picture of you both with those girls, it hit me hard, just how much I had been lying to myself, I had been so scared to do anything about my feelings because I couldn't bear to lose you as friends if you didn't feel the same way and if I lost you, I lost your family and I couldn't risk it.  But that picture was the tipping point for me, I knew if I spoke to you, I would stay and hide and it had started tearing me apart from the inside.  I didn't know what I was going to do but I had to get away, Mama August phoned and helped me, she knew, she guessed and she helped me" again tears stopped me.

"Oh baby" Blake whispered emotionally.

"You did the right thing baby, we too had been worried about wanting more from you, the risk if you had turned us down and so we ignored it to keep the status quo" he pauses and the silence stretches between us all before he continues "We were so bust trying to keep everything safe that we didn't protect or support you... Mum says you finished your book and not your first, we didn't ask you and you..." he trails off but I know the accusation coming.

"I didn't tell you, I wanted to but again I let fear win, fear that my writing would take over, keep me away from you.  I didn't feel I was good enough, the only support I have ever got is from you and your family and you are biased" I try to explain knowing how weak my explanation is.

"We are all fools" Blake blurts out and we all laugh agreeing.

"So, we agreed six weeks before we came chasing after you, what have you been doing?" Simon says directing the conversation and I tell them about the publishing company Mama August introduced me to and the editor assigned to me Josephine Rose who wanted to publish all three books and commission more in the future.  I talked about my mothers wedding and the horrible man she had paired me up with and my early escape back to the house which is how i saw the images.

"No wonder you were upset, us on top of your mothers pressure would have sent anyone running" Simon had offered.

The had told me about the replacement PA David and I had laughed telling them I had met him before and I was glad Logan sent him to them, he would do a fantastic job.

"He's not you" Blake had muttered out and my heart had swelled with love for them both.

They had told me about the season so far and the last couple of races which would decide which of them would be crowned champion, the team was also sure win and I was excited for them, they had worked hard to get there.

"Just please don't crash" I tell them both, voicing my fear and they had both agreed to be careful.

"We promise we will come for you when this six week period ends, nothing is going to stop that" Blake promises and I laugh softly my emotions rushing forth again.

"Is it too soon to say I love you" I whisper out nervously.

"Never, we love you too baby, and will tell you that every day until you are back at our side then we will show you" Simon promises, Blake agreeing with him.

"Now go to be baby and watch us win tomorrow race for you. I love you" Blake says.

"Love you baby Bea, dream of us" Simon adds.

"I love you, good luck and I will be watching"