Why Me?

The dinner

We got to his house and he opened my car door.
"Here you go." He said while opening it
I got out and smiled.
"I'm pretty nervous." I said while he closed the door
"Don't be. You're amazing. Theyll love you."
And he grabbed my hand and led me in.
Something about him makes me like him so much. I look at him and it's almost like looking at happiness. I don't know if he thinks of us as just friends, but as of right now, I'm happy with what's happening. And when he holds me, it's like the best thing in the world.
We walked into his house and in to the kitchen.
He introduced me to his family.
"dad, this is Alex."
And he stood up and shook my hand, "you're very beautiful." He said letting go
I smiled and then Cameron continued
"mom this is Alex and Alex this is my mom Mary."
She got up and hugged me which took me by shock.
"Cameron wasn't lying when he said you were beautiful."
"Thank you." I said separating from her
"And this is my grandma shay and my grandpa bill."
They nodded and said hello.
I stood there for a while just smiling.
"Here have a seat." Cameron said pulling out my chair.
"Thank you." I said while sitting
"You are stunning miss Alex!" His mom said smiling
"Thank you, you're very beautiful yourself!"
She blushed and then handed me a plate
"Dish up everyone." Cameron's dad, Adam said
I didn't know what to grab. I didn't want to eat, but if I didn't they'd know something was up so I just grabbed some salad and some fruit.
They looked at me like I was crazy for eating hardly anything
"You're too skinny! You need to eat!" His grandma said laughing
"Oh no trust me I'm good." I said grabbing a fork
As we started eating Cameron put his leg right next to mine, and then looked at me and smiled.
His parents were whispering, probably about me and Cameron, but then Cameron's dad broke the silence.
"So have you applied for any colleges?"
"Um actual no, not yet."
"And why is that? It's almost the end of the year."
"Dad. Stop."
"It's just a question Cameron." Adam said putting down his fork
His mom changed the subject and just asked if we needed anything and we all just chatted for a while and I truly like his family.
They asked about me, and then the big question came about my parents and I found no reason to hide it from them so i told them
All about it.
"Well my mom, my mom is half in my life and half out. She left a couple days ago and I haven't seen her since. It's just me and my sister Nichole because she took my little sister Katy. My dad has been out of the picture since I was a baby and I haven't seen him since."
"And have you every tried looking for him?" His dad asked me
"No. I'm not going to look for someone who hasn't bothered to try and come find me." I said whiling taking my napkin off my lap
And he looked at me and just smiled.
And then looked at Cameron
"You sir, are a very lucky man to have this young lady."
And Cameron smiled.
"Cameron why don't you come help me get some wood for a fire." Cameron's dad said standing up
"What about Alex?" He said helping me out of my chair
"I can help clean up the kitchen." I said looking at his mom
"You don't have to." Both Cameron and Mary said at the same time
"It's fine." I smiled at Cameron and let go of his hand and headed into the kitchen with some plates
His mom began washing them as I brought them in and we began talking
"Alex, you are a very sweet girl and Cameron is lucky."
I smiled.
"Well we aren't dating. I mean believe me, I'd love to date him he's very wonderful and so are you guys, it's just I don't want to really rush it. He's amazing though."
"Well I wish nothing but the best for you two, or whatever you guys are."
She said smiling.
"thank you, it really means a lot."
She turned off the sink and turned to me, "and if you need anything, you are always welcome here."
I smiled and then she hugged me. And they already felt like family.
Cameron came into the kitchen and told us the fire was ready.
"I'm almost done here, Alex go ahead." She said turning back on the sink
"Are you sure?" I said walking towards Cameron

"Positive"
And I walked out with Cameron and he grabbed a couple of blankets then we went outside
We sat on a bench by the fire and he wrapped the blanket around me.
I smiled at him and then just rested my head on his shoulder.
"You're family is lovely."

"You're lovely." He said moving his hand to connect with mine

I smiled at him.

I took my head off his shoulder and began talking

"What are we Cameron?"

"We can be anything."

"No I mean it, what are we?"

"And I meant what I said too. We can be anything. I mean what do you think we are?" He said moving his body so it was facing mine

"I don't know, but I like you. I truly to."

He kissed the top of my he'd and pulled me close to him so we were both under the blanket.
"I like you too."

And after we went on just talking about everything. About what we want to be when we're older and what we love and hate.
I checked the time and it was 8:30 pm
"I think I better get going."

"Yeah I'll go get my keys."

And we headed inside and I grabbed my purse and went to go say goodbye
"Thank you guys so much for having me. I really had a good time. You guys are very lovely." I said shaking both Adam and Mary's hand

"You were a delight!" Mary said smiling

"Cameron is very lucky! Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

And me and Cameron headed to my house.

We got to my door and he grabbed me and pulled me tight.

"I had a really nice time." He said hugging me

"I did too." I said while my head was buried in his chest

I didn't want to let go. I felt like o could hold onto him forever.

He finally let go and kissed my cheek.
"I'll see you at school." He said letting my arm go and walking away.
"Yeah goodnight."

"Goodnight beautiful." He said getting into his car
And I went inside. I stood behind the door, smiling as hard as I could and I looked up and saw Nichole standing there laughing at me.

"Someone has a crush."

I walked into my room and couldn't help but smile like crazy. I don't understand how someone, a person who I didn't even knew existed before a couple days ago, could make me feel this way. I feel happiness when i touch him, but it just sucks because when I'm not with him it's like all I feel is sadness.
I truly miss my mom and even though she was never here, she's still my mom and I just wish I had her.

I sat on my bed for a while just staring at the ceiling. After laying there for an hour I decided to get up and go take a shower.
In the shower I started to get my thoughts back. The ones I tried to push away, the ones I didn't want, the ones that I dreaded.
I sat there and fell to the floor. I started to cry and I don't understand how I could go from being at the top of the world to the lowest person in the world. I sat there crying as the water came down. And in that moment as my head was in my legs, I knew I didn't want to be here anymore. It's like depression is this huge cloud surrounding me, and once the sun pops out for a while, depression takes back over again.
I thought I was getting better, but I was just getting worse.
I got out of the shower and managed to stop crying. I walked to the toilet and began to throw up. And I could hear Nichole come by the door.
"Alex please stop. Please. Please please please Alex. Don't start this again."
I heard her crying at the door
I took my hands off the toilet and wrapped myself back in my towel and opened the door and just hugged her.
"It hurts. It hurts again." I said crying into her chest.
"Alex, someone's here for you." She said pulling me apart

"Who?" I said whipping my tears and I saw Elena
She ran to me and wrapped me in her arms.

"It's getting bad again and I can't take it. It hurts . It hurts so bad. I can't do this anymore." I said crying hysterically