Why Me?

Youre crazy, but i like crazy

"Yes you can Alex. You're so strong, to me you're the strongest person I've ever met. You've already have been from hell and back. Alex this is not the end of the road, trust me. You can do this I believe so much in you. Do you remember when you went in the hospital from overdosing? Do you remember what you told me? You told me that you couldn't understand why you tried to kill yourself. You told me that if you keep starving yourself and hurting yourself, it's going to hurt Nichole and Katy. I love you, Nichole loves you. You are loved by so many and I don't think you see that."
I cried and hugged her for the longest time.
Elena is probably the best person in my life right now.
She let go and held my arms.
"So anyway, let's stop crying, and tell me about your dinner!"
She said smiling and dragging me into my room.
I smiled at her and sat on my bed.
"I like him, a lot."
Elena smiled so incredibly big at me.

"You know you're the talk of the school." She said sitting next to me

"And why is that?" I said confused

"Because. It's not someone who you'd go for."

I looked at her, knowing that that is exactly true.

"Well, I didn't see it coming trust me, but he makes me smile and laugh and remember what it's like to be happy. It's like when I'm with him, I'm me. Not someone who I'm trying to be or someone I want to be, I'm me."

"I'm so happy for you Alex."

I smiled and hugged her.

"You should get some rest Alex. You have school tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow, I love you." She said getting up and hugging me

"I love you too. And lock the door please." I said laughing

I put on some clothes and grabbed my phone and saw a text from Cameron

You looked absolutely stunning tonight. -cam

I smiled at my phone like an idiot.

You didn't look too bad yourself. -lex xx

And we texted until I finally fell asleep.

I woke up the next day with a huge head ace and I looked at the time and saw that it was 9 am!
I shot out of bed and ran to Nichole's room and saw no one was in there. I ran all over the house and then I went into the kitchen and saw a note.
Dear Alex,
Stay home today. Jay took me to school. You need rest. I love you and I'll see you when I get back.

I smiled a little because it was cute how she cared about me.
I went back upstairs and went into the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth
The day felt super short because all I did was lay down and watch tv because I was stuck on the show, Breaking bad.
I looked at my phone and saw that it was 3:04 pm and I've done nothing all day. I heard the door open and I jumped up.
It can't be Nichole she doesn't get out until 3:10? Who is it?
I walked towards the door and saw that it was my mom.
She stood there with all of her bags and we just stood there and stared at each other.
I could tell she had been crying because her mascara was running and she looked like a mess.
After standing in silence for a long time, she finally spoke.
"Alex. Oh Alex." She said walking towards me and I backed up. "Alex come here, please. I love you. I love you."
She came closer and I could smell the alcohol on her breath and I just stood there.
"Alex. God damn it can you even hear me?"
She said pulling my arm

"Yeah. Clearly." I said taking a step back

"I swear Alex! You can't do anything! You are worthless! You are stupid! You are a screw up and I don't understand how anyone can love you! I don't love you. I wish you weren't mine Alex." She got in my face

It took all I had to hold back the tears and then I just threw her arm off of mine and I walked away to the front door.

She started crying as I walked out, "no Alex, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you."

But I just kept walking out. I didn't know where I was going but I'm pretty sure I'll find my way.
I was crying hysterically and I could hardly even walk. At first I had no idea where I was going, but then I found out exactly where I was going.
The sky began to get dark which was a sign it was late and to make matters worst, it began to rain.
After walking for a while I found myself at Cameron's house.
I was a complete mess, but I still went up to his door and rang the doorbell.
I stood there shaking because I was only in a t shirt and black sweatpants and I didn't know what I was doing here.
Cameron opened the door and looked at me confused.

He stepped out and hugged me, "Alex what's wrong?"

I pulled away and just started to cry even more.
"I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My mom hates me. My dad is no where. I hate me. But the thing is, I like you. And I don't understand how these last couple of days I've felt like I've known you forever. You make me smile and you make me feel happy and you make me feel like I'm worth it. You make me feel good. I don't know and I sound stupid, and I'm not sure about anything anymore, the only thing I'm sure of is that I want you. I want to be with you. I want to go on dates with you and not just sleep with you like I do every guy. I want to feel what it's like to fall in love, and I only want that with you." I looked up at him.
There was a moment of silence and I just kept thinking why I said that? I made a fool out of myself. I loom so stupid.
He broke my thought and whipped my tears with his hand and then took off his jacket and put it on me.
He smiled at me and lifted up my chin.
"You are crazy Alex, but I like crazy. Maybe that's why I like you."

I looked up at him and I couldn't believe it. I can't believe that me, Alex, has feelings for someone.

He kissed me and then held onto me for a while.

"Let's get you inside."