Something new // A byler and elmax romance // DISCONTINUED!

~4~

If you see me
"i'm attempting to make a change, i've opened up to pain"

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"o-ok.." Will said looking down avoiding Mike's eyes, but mainly his lips.

"it's a bit of a long story." Will said, while gently dragging Mike's arm to lean against a stall with him.

"Basically, I have PTSD (post-traumatic-stress-disorder), because w-when I was little, Lonnie- messed me up, like, bad.." Will said struggling not to break into tears.

"W-who's Lonnie?" Mike asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"M-my abusive father." Will said, still avoiding direct eye contact with Mike.

Will never called Lonnie his father. He never considered Lonnie a father to him. If anything, Lonnie was the devil.

Lonnie was evil. He was a very bad man, he would waste all his family's money on gambling and alcohol, and he never cared about any of his children.

He never abused Jonathon. Just Will. There was just something so special about Will that he got to be the black sheep of the family, the one his mom was always up late worrying about, the one that his brother dropped out of college for, the one his father hated, and the only queer in his family.

Will would never be normal. He would stay up most nights, wishing he could wake up and have magically manned-up. Or that a miracle would strike and he would finally like a girl.

When Lonnie called Will gay slurs, Will always knew he was right. Will had never physically had a crush. He had found men really attractive and sure he had seen boys he wanted to kiss, but never any girls. Will always assumed that he just hadn't found the right girl yet or some bull like that, that maybe his father's assumptions just raised him to be like that, but deep down he knew none of his father's insults were his fault.

But this was Hawkins, and god forbid you be different in Indiana.

"He would get drunk, and beat me up. For no reason. Well he claimed he had his reasons, that since he had a fag son it was an excuse to try to kill me. My mom divorced him when I was 13, so I spent 13 whole years of being pulled through hell and back with that man. I called him Lonnie because he isn't my father. I can't imagine ever called that man dad after what he's done and thank god he moved to the city. Even though he's gone, my anxiety hasn't died down. I'm always worried that one day, he'll come crawling back to our family, and my mom being the caring person she is, she might take him back."

Will said, by now he realized he was ranting and just went quiet again.

"I-I'm sorry, i shouldn't have said all of that-" Will started to say but he was cut off by another warm hug from Mike.

Will smiled at Mike's gesture and hugged him back, closing his eyes tightly in attempt to block the tears he had been holding back his whole rant.

But ofcourse, William being William, the tears flooded out. Mike seemed to have noticed, and he hugged Will even tighter, rubbing circles on his back to calm him down.

"frick Lonnie." Mike whispered still hugging Will.

"yeah, frick Lonnie." Will said with a small laugh.