Nola, and her three beautiful girls, are looking for a fresh start. When they take up temporary residence in her grandparents home in London, she is told the musician living next door is rarely home. To Nola, he sounds like the perfect neighbor.
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***A/N: This week, I wrote the word cock so many times while writing this little baby smut chapter that I had to look up synonyms and adjust some sentence structures so that is wasn't too obnoxious. I finally got it down to only appearing a handful of times. Hope you enjoy this little taste of what is to come 😏
The end of the month comes with a crazy overwhelming sense of nostalgia. TEN YEARS ago, One Direction was formed. Being a member of that band changed my life in so many ways. Mostly in great ways, but in all honesty, in some not so great ways, too. Right now, I am in a strange place of finally having the time to slow down and really look at my last ten years.
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I am slowly, through forms of my personal therapy (drinking, writing, meditation, exercising and actual therapy) working through the bits and pieces of me that I need to improve. Many of those are things are things that I never had to, or got the chance to, learn that everyone else learned just by growing up through their teen years and into adulthood outside of the spotlight.
I'm pretty sure that I missed out on a really important lesson, somewhere along on line, on how to have a healthy relationship. You know, somewhere between sleeping my way through the Victoria's Secret catalog and trying to keep the media out of anything that I felt like had a chance to make it past the first few dates.
I've dated celebrities and non-celebrities, some that I was able to have an entire relationship with- without anyone even knowing about it. The thing that has been the same with every relationship I've ever had is how they have started, and how they have ended.
To start, there is very little chase. I normally don't pursue anybody that doesn't show interest in me, and I have rarely been told 'no' when I've asked someone out. With the end, It goes one of two ways:
"You are Harry Styles. You are never going to be able to slow down and stay in one place long enough to get married or have a family and I want to settle down. So, I don't think this is going to work."
-Or-
"I like being known as Harry Styles' girlfriend, but we are both so busy that we don't have any time in our scheduled to actually be together outside of professional appearances. So, as long as you are alright with that, we can stay 'together'."
Notice a pattern? Apparently as long as I am Harry Styles, I am incapable of the type of relationship I have no doubt Nola would be looking for once she is ready for one. I hate everything about that. I hate that people think that about me. I hate that it's been proven true so many times in my past that I am now starting to believe it about myself. I hate that I feel like I can't have both my career and a solid, meaningful relationship. So, in this time of not being able to tour, which is the part of my career that has been the most damaging to my relationships, I find myself starting to ask, "what if" in regards to Nola.
•••••
Nola's birthday was yesterday. After everything happened, I decided that I should call Helen and talk to her this morning.
