The Weeks Between • HS

Week 12: Sunday • Harry *

It's been Sunday for nearly five hours now. I've been sitting out on this patio waiting for the day to finally begin, even though mine did over two hours ago when I made my way outside. The birds and I have been sitting here together, willing the sun to rise. We've watched the sky change from the darkness of night to aglow with the hope of morning. The hope of a new day, a day that I didn't see coming when Nola knocked on my door three months ago.

Today could be a turning point in Nola's and my relationship, or whatever we are calling it these days. I'm hoping that it's a positive turning point, but I've had enough experience with this to know that it could change things in negative ways; ways that are irreversible. It could damage this perfect world that she and I have created to live in together in the midst of the world being forced to live mostly apart.

There's very little about the Harry that she knows that will exist once the world goes back to turning at the speed it was before. There's a part of me that suspects that there's there's also very little about my Nola that will exist once she goes back to California. In the meantime, however, I don't think we're pretending. If anything, Nola is getting the best, most authentic, version of me that I have ever given to anyone.

I also have to believe that there isn't a better version of Nola that exists. I know she has a past, that I don't know much about and that terrifies Jeff, but it doesn't scare me. We still have a lot of time to have those conversations. I also know what a luxury it is for people to get to know me as a human, and not as who other people have defined me as, correctly or incorrectly. So, I want to be able to give Nola that same luxury. I know we will eventually have the important conversations, but I'm hoping that when we do we've gotten to a point where there's too much between us to let it ruin anything.

There's also a tiny part of me that wonders if we will even tell each other about the damaged parts of our pasts because our time together is so short and finite. Maybe we don't have to go there? I mean, is it really going to matter in the end?

My whirling thoughts are brought to a halt as the sky turns a more vibrant hue of golden orange's and yellow's. I sit back in my chair and soak up the daylight in total silence, except for a few birds singing in the yard.

"Couldn't sleep either?" a voice calls from behind me. I feel a delicate hand on my shoulder as the person approaches the back of the chair I am sitting in. I don't need to turn around to know who it is. Her touch sets off something inside of my body that nobody else's ever has.

"Good morning, my Nola." I say. I regret that I forgot to introduce her like that to Gemma. I'm not sure that it would've changed much, but I feel like it might have changed how Nola felt about the whole first interaction.

"Good morning, my Harry," she replies in the exact same tone. "What has you up with the birds this morning?" she asks as she comes around the front of my chair to sit down in the one right next to me.

"You."

"Me?" She questions. "But I just woke up."

"Yeah. My daydreams have turned to all-the-time dreams." I tell her and she sheepishly sets her elbows on her knees, staring at a pattern in the stone beneath her feet. She is worried about something. Please don't let it be me. Or us.

"Harry?" She asks and I nod.

"I want to tell you about my family. I don't think we can take the next step until I do, but I'm afraid you will see me differently."

I start to reach out for her, but she pulls her body away from mine, so that I cannot embrace her. "No, Harry. I've been up for three hours and I just need to be able to tell you this because otherwise you don't know the real me and we shouldn't do what we're about to do tonight if you don't."