𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 - 𝘽𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚

twenty five

chapter twenty five

B Y
Y O U R
S I D E

BILLY COULD FEEL HIS FACE BEGIN TO TWITCH AS HE WATCHED JACKIE DRIVE AWAY FROM HIM. He could feel his chest and throat burn, not unlike the sensation that came from inhaling a freshly lit cigarette – but this was worse, burned worse. There was no nicotine laced with this feeling that burdened him, no satisfaction in the silence as he stood alone.

He was angry, no doubt, but there was something else. A twinge of pain jerked at his heartstrings, so sharp, Billy thought something was terribly wrong with him. A heart attack, maybe. There was this bottomless pit loomed in his stomach, and if truth be told, he felt a bit sick. Like he was going to throw up or something.

Then there was another jerk at his heartstrings when he came to the realization that this terrible, awful feeling could only be blamed on Jackie's absence. Billy didn't want to accept that fact that Jackie leaving him there hurt as badly as it did – she was just another bitch in the sea, he thought. He could find another, right? But in the deep, reluctant parts of his mind, there was no desire to find someone else. No craving of someone else's skin.

No, he wanted Jackie.

But, the overwhelmingly prideful part of him denied him that realization. So he stood there, in the cold, feeling as spiteful as the cold breeze that dusted his hot skin. He shouldn't have accused her of sleeping with Sean, he knew that. And he shouldn't have so carelessly implied that he only bought Jackie a gift to get her to spread her legs. Okay, whatever. But, she shouldn't have been so naive enough to accept gifts from another dude. She shouldn't have called him crazy. And she shouldn't have left.

Why did he let her leave?

"Goddamn, bitch," he found himself muttering under his breath. He didn't mean it, of course. But he wanted to.

He wanted to be angry at her, but any anger he felt was not directed towards Jackie. Little did he know, that fiery feeling that seemed to burn within chest was directed at himself. But, not emotionally sound enough to recognize that, all he knew was that he was angry.

Secured in his hand was the ring he'd gifted to Jackie. His grip on it was so tight, that it left indents on the palms of his sweaty hands. If the night ended how he'd wanted it to, he would have slipped it back onto Jackie's finger, saying something like, Make sure it stays there this time. She would laugh, and he would grin at the beautiful expression. And then they would part ways with a goodnight followed by a sloppy kiss.

But that's not how things went.

Billy and Jackie didn't see or speak to each other for five days. Neither of them could have expected that the time apart would be so miserable.

Jackie awoke from a night's sleep on December 30th. She'd tossed and turned all night long as she had done for the last four nights. On her mind, heavy thoughts weighed her down. And at almost every hour of the day, she could only think about Billy. The anger that she felt towards him began to falter and crack as the days went by. In between those cracks were moments where she would miss him. She'd miss his charming, flirtatious ways, the way the corners of his mouth flicked upwards in a grin as he called her pretty. At this point, she even missed his sarcastic remarks, ones that would either make her laugh or piss her off.