The replies to your letters

In the dusk before dark

Maybe I will, I will try to bring you in my life as the dusk, dandelions and warmth.

Wylla this one is for you .                                                                                                                          

Oh where shall I start, Class 5th maybe. I am not able to recall anything from that class but I will imagine and write, what might could have happened.
Its the break time, and in the midst of all the hustle - bustle my eyes are set on to find two individuals. As I take my steps down the stairs, turning my head with a jolt and with squinted eyes I search for these two people. Still not able to find them. I start walking, turn right towards the second ground, finding more of sweaty crowd but not the two I'm looking for. Then I take a left and enter the L field. Children throwing balls made from aluminum foil, girls chatting and laughing weirdly in the distance, pt teacher shouting, and I keep my pace, moving towards the end of the field and taking a final left turn I finally find them, my past, Varisha and my present, Wylla.

I move up to them and see them sitting on their usual spot, the tree log. I greet them and then we start talking, its calm and its not fake. I feel light. You see I am not at all able to recollect what we talked about but its good. It gives me enough space to put all my imagination and curiosity to work. Maybe about the world, gossips about the popular kids, and more about the world, and scandals between the teachers and some things from our daily lives and troubles and so on. Varisha, ummm. she's a totally blurred memory, I don't remember a single moment we shared but I remember what I felt for her. She was different, a rare person to find. She was smart, sophisticated, a good- humored , natural , non-fake individual.


I thinks she was always calm, sometimes got a bit irritated when her rights were hindered but mostly calm and friendly. I think I used to admire her, I wanted to become her friend, become like her. So I clung on to her like leach. Despite the dirty glares that her friend used to give me( just kidding) I still clung on to her, following and looking for her in the break time and the games. But not during the class, you know I had this so called image to maintain, I guess, not so sure myself. So I could only show my compassion towards her in the break time. Then there comes this friend of her, I never really noticed her much at the time, but this person later on (as you'll read) becomes someone quite close to me, My special stranger. aka Wylla.

So now, lets jump on to grade 7th. We are attending these online classes and she has got a talent for keyboard. During the talent showcasing class or whatever you call that, she played (something I do not remember the name of, although I would be glad if she could remind me, and I even searched the name of the band later but I still forgot) something nice. Although she had to play it over and over again due to poor network issues. But I till vividly remember how she was playing. With one hand, her long fingers were gently pressing the keys and she explained how she learned the music by herself( i guess).

Now lets again take a leap and come to class 8th. I got reunited with wylla's BFF. She and I used to hang out together every single day after school, waiting for our autos. But our friendship got messed up when in a message on whatsapp my brother wrote the word( fu#$ing ) and her mother was the one who read it and then all the drama and crying and anger took place. And then how I wrote in my diary how flicker and fake our friendship was to get affected by a single curse. {+_+} [*-*]

But after we got reunited, things turned out well. But ever since we didn't hang out much. But during all this, in the background, something was prevailing that even I myself couldn't realize until much later. This was the unique admiration and feelings I had towards this stranger, Wylla. She and the Man's crush(S) and I used to sit together. I wouldn't say that I liked this company, mainly because of the S, so I had other friends I hung out with. But still some how I ended up making good friends with B ( Wylla). I found her really weird, every thing about her was different and weird.

My beginning of admiration towards her started when we were talking about waxing. When S said that she hated her hair and wanted to wax in 9th grade, I remembered how my mother had said to not even have a single thought about waxing till 12th grade. And then cutting my thoughts, B said that she liked her hair, and adding that she wanted to grow them really long. So as you can see, she naturally caught my attention and then I grew up to liking her a lot.(although I am disappointed that how she later on murdered me, I still liked her unique ways)

Then after the summer vacation, I was set on to pursuing her.  I begged her to sit with me and to my surprise she left her bff and sat with me, and to that rather comfortably. And as she knows that I hate sitting in trios, sadly(happily) her bff couldn't join. 

So as the days went on, we talked about many things, discovered that we both had a common likeness for novels and that we both needed some time away from her bff. And a few other things. And now that I'm writing about this, I'm recalling that how peculiar, yes, thats the right word, how peculiar she was. How she always looked for a chance to bunk classes, (yet she was sincere in studies), how she ate those mint tittle things during class. How she would run about in the rain, deliberately wetting her self. I guess you could say, she was refreshing to look at. Her own unique ways, that bliss of  her witch related things .

I would elaborate on the part of witch related things. She used to bring a freaking bell to school, her lucky charm as she called that. So she reminded me of a shaman,I could imagine her dancing and singing weird chants , ringing her bell repeatedly and it some how didn't seem weird. And now when I am sick and dying, I am glad to have this stranger by my side. I am not a theist nor an atheist, but have a different belief in god, if he may ever exist(maybe i'll write about it sometime later on) . I guess he or she wanted us to meet. How our lives were inter wined from the red thread of fate, (i know we are in the same class but still.) how her former friend V and her later bff A were all my friends too, and our feelings towards them were also kind of the same.So to my nights, clouds and warmth, her dandelions, dusk and warmth, penetrates my world only to bring me curiosity, wonderance and a lot of warmth and thoughts.

I might doubt for how long this may last, our strangership. But I want it to last long. So I'm taking a bit of risk, in the dusk before dark, looking up to the evening sun, holding your arm and walking and chatting in the streets of Dehra. So every time I look up to the setting sun or to the birds flying back home or watching the field of dandelions as each little flower slowly blooms and takes an unknown, mysterious flight, starting its journey towards an unknown path, towards an unknown destination, I will think of you and the you, who in contrast with my beliefs still made me look forward , towards the new dusk and towards the unkown things this path of venture has to bring forth.

Regards
Clara