Thunderbird - B. Bridgerton

23

Sofia Bridgerton is breathing; she is eating well, because she has a baby to feed in her belly, she is answering, when someone is asking her something; but other than that, she is barely existing.
The last two months felt like hell on earth for her. Sleeping is especially tricky now, because she can see Selim falling down the cliff every time she closes her eyes.

Benedict Bridgerton is visibly vanishing. He lost so much weight during these two months, he has extreme under-eye bags, as he is not sleeping either, his eyes, once full of life, have lost all the shimmer they had. Benedict Bridgerton is visibly vanishing, but funnily enough, no one is realizing it.

„You know how mother was, when father died", Colin had reminded his elder brother.
„She's going to be better soon, especially after the baby is born", Anthony had added.
Benedict just shook his head though. „Mother had mourned her husband, not an supposed-to-be ex-lover, while her husband was still in the room", Benedict corrected them.

Benedict and Sofia have spent the last two months in their home. Sofia was not feeling well and refused to go outside, and Benedict didn't feel comfortable leaving her unchaperoned. His sisters and sister-in-law's all offered to stay with Sofia at one point, but he insisted on staying with her.

Today, they even added to the game by staying in their chamber all day - in bed, to be precise - and spending the day resting. Sofia, who is over eight months pregnant now and could give birth anytime, has to rest as much as possible, anyways. Benedict joined her, a sketchbook in one hand, a long, sharp piece of charcoal in the other. Sofia has been reading. They've never been a couple who needed to talk for hours in order to enjoy each other's company, bur this silence is not comfortable at all.

Benedict eventually stops drawing and stands up to go to the bathroom, to wash the colour from his hands. He has nowhere else to go, so he returns to the bedroom and lays down on the bed. Two seconds after he closed his eyes, he can feel is wife's head leaning on to his chest, her arm being wrapped around him. He doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her as well.

„I'm sorry. I have been a really bad wife recently"
Not just recently. „It's okay. You're doing your best."
„It was just too much you know... first, I was afraid I'd loose you, then I was afraid, Selim would do something stupid... then I suddenly had to be scared for my own life and our baby's life and..."
„It's okay", Benedict states, once again.
„You should probably just abandon me once the baby is born."
„I would never do that." I have considered it almost everyday for the past two months.

„I didn't lie to you, when I said that I love you, Benedict. I really didn't. And my feelings haven't changed. What happened was just, too much to handle."
„I know." I don't believe you.
„We should name the baby Selim, if it's a boy." Benedict has no idea, why he said that. He would literally hate that baby, if it was carrying the farmer's boy's name. Sofia raises her head from his chest and looks at him in disbelief.
„No...", she finally says after studying his face for a while. „We shouldn't give our child the name of someone from our past. It shall be a new name, a name that only spreads hope and happiness."

„I totally agree." As if a name alone could be enough to save the shatters of our lives.
„You know... hope is actually a good name", Sofia hesitantly continues to talk. She leans her head on his chest again and starts doodling things on his chest. She's nervous, which means that she has already thought about it.

„I like that name-", Benedict starts.
„And it is suitable for a girl and a boy!", Sofia happily intervenes.
„- But only as a middle name", Benedict continues.
For a few minutes the room is filled with silence. Sofia was clearly not expecting this. „What do you want for the first name?"
„Aaron, if it's a boy... and Ayla if it's a girl. I know, you originally wanted to call our daughter Leyla and have suggested that Colin may use the name Ayla, but we have to pick a name with an A, right?" He laughs.