thirty-six

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Xavi scrapes the breakfast that he made for me into the trash and places the plate in the sink.

"I don't understand why you have to throw the food out though."

"Because, Infinity," he takes my face in his hands, kissing my lips, "You're pregnant! You can't eat this cheese or egg. Could be harmful to the baby." He kisses my stomach and for a moment I feel almost repulsed. Not by him exactly, just by how he's taking it all in stride. It's weird.

"Fifi, come on," he says, wrapping me into a hug, "A baby is a blessing and pregnancy is an exciting period in life."

Then why don't you carry the damn thing then?

I push away from him, "Can you please just stop?"

He looks at me confused, "Why? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, but can you just stop talking about it! Please," I lower my voice, "I don't even know if I want to keep the baby! I'm not supposed to be pregnant!"

"Pregnant?," Xavi's mother steps in the room, the wheels of her walker squeak as they roll in, "Infinity, did you say pregnant?" she asked, beaming from ear to ear.

I feel the subconcious need to cover my stomach even though there's no bump, "Uh... I-"

"Yes, she's pregnant!" Xavi answered, I elbowed him, shooting him a hot glare.

"Sorry!" he mouthed.

"Hallelujah!" She picks up her walker and starts dancing.

Xavi settles the walker back down on the ground, "Take it easy, mumsy."

"Okay, okay! I'm just so excited to hear this!" she folds her hands together, eyes glossing with tears, "You know what? I've been praying and fasting so that you two would get back together."

Xavi furrows his brow, "Wait, what you mean you've been fasting? You're supposed to be taking your meds everyday."

She swats his words out of the air, "And finally, finally circumstances brought you two back together now," she cups my belly with her wrinkled hands, "Now, there's a third!"

She begins singing and Xavi and I just exchange awkward glances.

She grabs Xavi by the arm, "Not to mention, it will be so much easier for her to become an English citizen now that she's bearing your child!"

Maybe his child.

"Sorry? English citizen?" I interject.

His mom looks at me, "Yes..." then she looks up at Xavi, "I thought you discussed this with her already?"

Xavi rubs his face in frustration, "I was going to tonight. And I told you that she might not say yes. It's her choice."

"Of course she will say yes now! She must. This isn't her choice anymore, it's the choice of what's best for the child. Besides, Infinity is a good Trinidadian girl." his mother turns to me, "Isn't that right?"

I don't know about all that.

Xavi started, "She is a great girl but-"

"So, what's the problem?" his mom shrugged, her bony shoulders raising to the sky, "You'll get married as soon as possible. Before she starts to show. Consider it solved."

Huh? Marriage?

"Mum, wait," Xavi says, "Let's not jump to all of that right now. I actually think we should-"

"Oh, I have so many relatives to call! Go down to the corner shop and buy me some international phone cards."

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