The Book Thief 》Hemmings A.U

40.00

"SOME SCHOOLS HAVE rolling admissions so it's okay that you haven't gotten your applications in yet, right?" Luke says, looking over my shoulder. I shrug, fingertips hovering over the keyboard of my laptop as I write, perched on the edge of Luke's bed.

"Yeah, but not all schools are like that." For someone who always started an argument when the topic was brought up, he sure liked to talk about school and admissions and my story a whole hell of a lot. While I sift through emails and write another few sentences for my Brown application essay, Luke hovers over me, frowning and watching.

"I checked." He offers quietly, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth. "I checked for you, and Brown still accepts people up until mid June."

"Yes, Luke, I know, but-" I start, inhaling heavily and thinking over my words carefully. I really didn't want to start fighting with him again. "I'm not going to college unless I get a scholarship, and applications for those sometimes work a little differently, unless you're a special case or they have an interest in the student applying. There's a million people out there like me, I don't stand out. My only way to stand out is the contest, and that has a deadline, too." I finish, pursing my lips.

I hated talking about this. I hated that every day I woke up and was crushed with the realization that I probably wasn't going to get in. I didn't do anything outstanding, I was just me and somehow, I didn't think that was going to be enough. This contest was my one hope and if I didn't submit my entry soon, then it would all be over. But what was I supposed to do at this point? I didn't have enough time to write something that would be up to par with Casual Affair, and, it wasn't like I hadn't already asked Luke to return it a million times. I didn't know what he was still waiting for, I only hoped that he would return it, and soon. Otherwise I knew that I would start another fight with him and this time, I wouldn't find it as easy to push away my rage in favor of selflessness.

"You are special, and you are going to get in and you're going to get out of this town just like you want. Away from it and everyone in it." Luke mumbles, more to himself than me.

"Thanks." I tell him earnestly, save my document, and then shut the laptop. "So, should I start getting ready?"

"Technically we both should but, I really don't want to go. Lucy isn't going." He points out, sighing heavily and lying back on his bed, eyes shutting.

"Because Lucy is shopping and hasn't answered either of your parent's calls for the past six hours. She's ignoring them because she doesn't want to go either, but, we both know she's going to give in out of guilt and end up showing up sooner or later."

"Are you always right?" Luke pouts, eyebrows furrowing as he pretends to be upset.

"Not always." I respond quietly with a sigh and slide off of Luke's bed, pushing past my thoughts of how always not right I was -like with entrusting Luke with my future. "If anyone shouldn't be going, it's me. I mean, it's for your dad."

"Yeah, but my Mum likes you and she said we all have to keep this facade up for a little while longer. And you just make everything better; we all like having you around but if you don't want to come, it's fine. I understand." He tells me, head tilted back as he looks at me from his position on the bed. Luke is saying one thing, but completely means another. He doesn't just want me to come, he needs me to. He hates handling his dad alone.

"Okay, I'll come." I comply, bringing myself to smile.

"Babe, is everything okay? Are you okay?" He asks after a second, sitting up and frowning, concern flooding his features.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I'm trying to be. "Everything is fine."

Soon after, I go home and change into the dress Luke had gotten me that day for the banquet, as well as a pair of heels. We had agreed to meet again in twenty minutes for the drive over to his dad's party of "recognition for being such an outstanding member of the company" -bullshit, pure bullshit- and by the time I manage to pin my hair up in a high bun and braid the outer pieces, that time has passed. I didn't really want to go anywhere, but I wanted to be supportive and I knew that moping around wouldn't really help anything. This new found feeling of sadness had been something that I had felt for the past few months, but had just been ignoring or pushing away. Every time someone brought it up, though, it made it real and I could only act like it didn't exist for so long. My parents were getting divorced and I might not have a future. There might not be anything for me after high school and that was my biggest fear: the idea of staying trapped inside of this town for all of eternity with all of my aspirations slowly but surely becoming obsolete.