Title(That Smirk)

Chapter One- Bones and wings

August 4th, 1975
(Saturday)

Standing in my bed room I ran my fingers across the spines of my books, dark purple lips twisted into a grimance, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "I was sure..." I mumbled, searching through the bookshelf. My room, not unlike my brothers, was full of books--though most were on transformations, werewolves, and anything else on the magical subject of the fullmoon--though a few of Remus's old school books and encyclopedias on the dead sat by my bed in tedious stacks. My walls were painted a deep red, black and white overlapping silhouettes of ballerina dancers painted on the walls. My floor is hard wood and cold against my bare feet--I only wore a pair of blue shorts, a red singlet and my usual rubber black linked choker--but I paid it no mind too determined to find my book. Teeth grazing my bottom lip and smirked wickedly, tugging a large tome from the top shelf, though I had to go up on my tippy toes--the woes of a 5 foot 4 midget girl. Oh well, I sighed in faint amusement, lugging the thick book over to my bed. My long brown hair fell around my face but I brushed it back, smirking like a well fed cat. Smugly, I guess it's called. 'Animagi: a study of human Transformation' the title read, the binder telling me the writer was called 'W. Fuhrman'. "He thought height would stop me? Typical Remy," I murmured with a wide smirk on my lips. You see--ever since Remus owled me about his friends finding out he was a werewolf I've wanted to help him even more, especially when said friends accepted him easily. So, not to his knowledge, I owled Sirius Black and James Potter and told them if they want to help Remus to go to the Library and look up Animagi--I signed it 'Ava' and informed them I was a friend of Remus, and that if they tell him I'll castrate them. When Remus told me in second year they were halfway through their training I was excited, though annoyed. They had acsess to resources I needed. I have a wand--12', Thestrial tail hair, Yew--but no books. After the death scene in the park there have been a few more--I see dead people with missing eyes and bloodied clothing roaming the streets--some wet and cold, some with bruises on their necks...ever since the park it was like my eyes had been opened--I could see, and it felt horrible. I finally knew what Remus went through, but in a different way. I feel the person's pain when they touch my skin, I see violent deaths where they were committed--I've seen the life leave so many people's eyes...I never went to Hogwarts because of my fear--instead Remus became my holiday professor, and I made him swear to not mention me outside of 'I have a sister, she's not here, lovely weather were having'. I don't want him to be put into the position to lying to his friends about me. I only managed to get my hands on an Animagi book in Remus's third year when his friends finally got it, and here and now as a 15 year old girl I'm on the brink. My patronus didn't work because I can't find a strong enough memory, but I know in my gut it will work. Remus found out over the holidays and ever since he's been hiding my books and putting them in high to reach places--like that ever stopped a determined witch wanting to help her big brother. I also confessed to passing the idea along to James and Sirius, two boys I've never met, so he's getting ready to kill them in a few weeks when they meet up in Diagon Alley. I have kept in touch with Sirius, James too through Sirius's letters, and I hope one day to meet them. When I master my Animagus I will go to Hogwarts. I'll help Remus and meet my pen pals who I think I've doomed via Remy. Oopsey? Either way I'm excited. I told Sirius I was part troll, and I told James to not tell him I'm not. He sent back a howler that laughed for 20 whole minutes. I also told Sirius I live in a cave next door to Remus and that my boyfriend the centaur says hi. James sent another laughing howler--I've never seen a howler so cheerful--I loved it. Remus thought I, and the Howler, was nuts. Grabbing my wand--it's pure white and spirals up, though it feels like a bone from the skeleton in a creepy science teachers classroom--I held it in front of me, re reading the text a few times so I wouldn't mess anything up. "Nosmerte Culeiam, Normerte Trego, Nosmerte Culeiam, Nosmerte Trego--" I repeated, reaching over to grab a plain violet vile as I spoke, slowly standing, though my knees trembled. Not a shred of doubt clouded my mind. "--Culeiam, Nosmerte Trego," that said I drank the vile, fighting a gasp as it slid down my throat like slime, horrid, sluggish, slime. Shaking off the feeling I cloased my eyes feeling my wand warm. "Nosmerte Normarte Hoakaskte Mau Trego," I finished with finality, focusing on my inner core, not that I was sure what it would be. The inner me--my spirit animal. Briefly I worried it didn't work, again, but that's when I felt it. A tingel in my spine, a crack in my arm, a heat in the front of my mind. I was shifting, reaching down onto my knees. It wasn't fluid, it won't be at first, and I felt this unnatural awful sensation in my bones and my head. It didn't hurt--not in the least. It felt wrong, yet oh so right at the same time. It felt...it felt like I was being flattened into dough and baked into Mama's homemade cookies and thrown into a hot oven. Then everything around me bluured and changed, my surrounding becoming serial and off. Confusion swamped my mind and I tried to cry out, only to get a soft snort in response, my hoof clicking on the hard wood floor. Wait...hoof? Walking was a chore, but it was worth it when I reached the mirror across the hall. In my place stood a large horse made of bones, big pale green eyes the only thing I recongnized. I was the height of a race horse, if a little under, and I felt as oddly strong. I also felt an odd calm sensation in my 'bones', serene I guess. Letting out a loud snort I clomped out of the bathroom, making my way off to scare Remus. I found him eating chocolates in the kitchen, writing with a blue and black quill on a long piece of parchment. Clomping over I grabbed his shirt and tugged. He looked up in confusion, staring right at me, before looking back down. Huh? Frowning mentally I trotted over to stare down at his parchment, though in my new form it took a moment for the words to come to focus. It was a potions essay on what appears to be common poison antidotes. Shaking my head I grabbed his quill, moving backwards as he looked up. He jumped startled staring at his quill. "What the Godric?" He asked himself confused and I frowned, dropping his quill on the table. Why can't he see me? I'm a skeletal horse--not hard to miss...miss...Thestrial. I'm a Thestrial. He CAN'T see me because he's never seen death. Holy crap. Remus taught me about those last week--creatures of death, only those who have seen death can see them. That explains the skeletal wings I suppose, not that I'm complaining on that little fashion statement if it means I can eventually fly. Focusing on myself I pulled on my strength only to feel that horrible flattening sensation wash over me, along with the heat and a tingle of energy crawling up my spine. For a moment I worried I couldn't turn back, I would be an invisible horse forever, but I pushed it back knowing I had to help Remus--being invisible won't help Remus. Stumbling I regained form on two feet. I glanced at Remus who gaped absouletly confused. I stumbled once more all of a sudden feeling sapped of energy. "I did it," I wheezed, and would of fallen over, if Remus hadn't gotten up to steady me. "Done what? Invisibility charm?" He asked almost hopefully. I shook my head. "No--I'm an Animagus," I said, repeating it in my mind, though illegal it is, before grinning widely at my resigned older brother. "What are you? A lady bug?" He asked weakly, hoping I wasn't big enough to help, and I grinned. "No--I'm a thestrial," I chirped gladly. Remus choked on air. "W-What?" I continued to grin despite my light headedness. "Don't you get it Remus? I can help now! I'm a huge invisible horse with wings--I can help!" I told him excited, grin lighting up my face. Remus looked at me sullenly, eyes hard showing his opinion was final. "No--I will NOT let you put yourself in harm's way for my Avaya Rosemary Lupin." Well we'll see about that now won't we? I thought to myself, stomping off to my room to reply to Dumbledore for the first time in four years. For the first time I'm leaving my house again--no matter what Remus says I'm helping him, and to do that, I'm going to Hogwarts.