Our last summer as kids

Max

I've royally fucked up, not only did I attempt to embarrass Tracy in front of random strangers, but I accused her of taking a video of my friends and I and being a border line stalker. 

As much as it pains me, to do this I must apologize to Tracy. 

I don't want to raise suspicion or give Tracy hope that there might be something there, when there's not 

So, I decided to go to the cafe every day until I see her and make it seem like it's an accident that I saw her and since she's there, to just apologize. 

First day at the cafe she's not there, which is understandable

Second day, she's not here, again to no surprise 

Third day, she's not here, weird but I can't let it get to my head 

 fourth, fifth, sixth, ughhhh, I've sat at the cafe for a whole week, I even invited my friends and posted on my Instagram 

so, she can see it and it maybe motivate her to come, but she never came.

Now the logical reaction would be to ignore the situation and forget about it and her but there's this little thing called guilt that ends up eating a person alive.   

I've decided to ask my mom to go to Tracy's place and just apologize to her there. 

I jump up from my bed and head downstairs, as I walk towards my kitchen, I see my mom, cutting onions facing away from me. 

"Hey, mom" 

silent treatment, again 

"I know I messed up, but I'm willing to fix it, I promise you, I want to go to Tracy's and apologize again and this time a really meaningful apology" 

my mom stops cutting the onions and slowly turns around 

"I'm not mad at you Max, I'm disappointed, I thought I raised you better than what you are showing me" 

"You did though, it's not my fault Tyler went and did what he did" I say with a little bit of hurt in my eyes 

"that's true, but you're still friends with him, so you're enabling Tyler's behavior" 

"No, I'm not" I say in a loud tone 

my mom takes a big deep breath before responding with "if that's how you feel, ok, let's go to Tasha's place tomorrow, but let me just tell you this, Max, no amount of sorry's is going to fix the mess you've made, and you are just going to have to live with that" 

"I know mom, just let me at least apologize" 

my mom turns back around and begin cutting the onions again without saying a word 

The next day came surprisingly quickly, my mom didn't tell Tasha that I was coming, in hopes to not inform Dani about my arrival to her mom's home. 

knock knock 

"Coming, coming" Tasha's says on the other end of the door with her usual chipper self. 

"Lilly, glad to see you... Max what brings you to our home" 

my mom speaks up before I can get a word out 

"Tasha, I think my son and your daughter have some talking to do"

"Oh, come in, come in, about that... Tracy hasn't been home, for a while" 

"what" both my mom and I say at the same time

"Come sit, let's talk more inside" 

As Tasha leads us more inside her home, she leads us to the living room and guides us to sit on the couch 

"So, Tasha, please explain to us, what you mean by Tracy hasn't been home" 

"Well after the whole prom thing, Tasha had been acting a little different, we unexpectedly started to get into more fights and then one day Tasha decided she wanted to stay with her sister, there was really nothing I could do because she's 18 and is about to go to university, so I let her go" 

shock spread across mine and my mother's face. It was very unexpected of Tasha to disobey her mother. 

"Maybe it's just a phase" I say but was quickly shot down with a look from my mother to be quiet 

"How are you Tasha, is everything ok" my mom says with concern laced in her voice

"I'm alright, it's just I expected this from Danielle but not Tracy. Tracy is acting so ungrateful for all that I have done for her. I don't know what's wrong with her" 

"Just give her time, Tasha" 

"Sometimes I think if I had boys, I wouldn't have had these problems" Tasha blurts with regret in her voice 

"don't say that Tasha, you have two wonderful daughters, they're just trying to find themselves, give them time" 

"mmmmm, sure" was Tasha's last comment before the topic was quickly switched 

the whole night my head was wondering to how selfish Tasha could be and how she puts her mother through all this heartache for no reason. 

when I apologize, I will also have to give her a good talking too.