Our last summer as kids

Max

It's been 4 weeks since I started to go to Sweet Grill. It's sort of become a habit. I wake up, do whatever I have planned for the morning then once 3 o'clock hits I drive to Sweet Grill and wait for Tracy to arrive. Tracy arrives around 4:30. She usually has a different hairstyle which I never noticed until now 

It's super cute. Sometimes I feel inclined to take a photo but knowing Tracy and our history she would definitely find it weird and freak out knowing that I was taking a photo of her.

Tracy usually leaves Sweet Grill around 8pm which is super late, but I assume she just gets lost in her books, which she has finished 4 so far; pretty impressive of her. 

I of course leave with her and watch as she goes to her car to make sure she gets there safe. Once Tracy leaves, I get into my car and leave for my home and then everything repeats. 

Outside people looking in would think this is a pretty boring way to use my summer vacation, before university, but I'm really enjoying myself and I kind of feel at peace being with Tracy. 

cliche, I know, but there's just something about her that I just never noticed until now. 

I just wish she would talk to me and that we could go back to the way we were. It was nice when it was the old Tracy. She was there and attentive to her surroundings, now she doesn't even acknowledge me or cares about my presence. 

Today's another day at Sweet Grill and as usual I am waiting for Tracy to arrive. 

... 

She arrives. There's this little tingly feeling that I get sometimes when I look at her. I really don't know what this feeling is and I'm a little scared to find out, but I don't want it to go away. 

"Hey" I say quietly hoping this time she would respond 

She looks at me with a tired look on her face, which sets alarms in my head. 

Is she ok? did something happen? What happened? ugh, God this is so frustrating, I want to ask so badly but I'm afraid she'll be annoyed with me... fuck 

"Hey, are you ok, and don't worry I'm not just saying this to start up conversation... not saying that I wouldn't want to talk with you, I do but that's not what this is, I was just wondering cause..." 

As I was about to finish my mini verbal diaherra Tracy interrupts me with a sharp remark

"Can you please just stop talking...please" 

With that, I close my mouth and say nothing as I look at her 

"I'm fine just a lot on my mind" 

"Do you want to talk about it" I say hoping she would open up to me just a little bit, but my wishful thinking was quickly ruined by her fast response of no 

That's ok though, I won't let it discourage me. As we sit in silence, ever so often looking up to see how Tracy is doing, she slowly starts to relax and a content look on her face appears, I think content, I hope content. 

The rest of the evening goes by smoothly and I'm left in bed wondering, what could have happened. So many thoughts in my head start to bubble. Is it her mom, her sister, school, life... me. I know I have been annoying her and I know in the past I haven't been the best but I'm working on it. It also wasn't only me at fault, if she wasn't so pushy and forceful then maybe I would have had room to breathe, and we could have made a wonderful friendship. 

By the time I could realize I slowly start to fall asleep with Tracy on my mind. 

.... 

Next day rolls around and I'm stuck on how I can make Tracy feel better. Sadly, today I won't be meeting up with her as my friends forced me to make plans with them since I was spending "too much" time with Tracy. 

As Alex pulls up to my driveway I get up and go straight to the front seat. Even though my friends showed a lot of distain towards Tracy, Alex had a small soft spot for her. Which before never used to bother me but now it kind of annoys me. 

"yo" 

"Hey" 

"You see the photo Tracy posted, damn she's so hot, I just knew there was something about her" 

Not only does Alex piss me off but I can't say anything because if I do, I will sound like I'm jealous or something, which I'm not 

"Dude you're so lucky Tracy likes you", now that ticked me off, why would I be lucky, does he want her or something and for the record she doesn't like me anymore, but I would never tell him that 

"Can we please not talk about Tracy" I say with a look of disgust. I don't have this look on my face because I find Tracy disgusting, no, far from that. This look of disgust is towards my friend who apparently has this newfound crush for Tracy. 

"you're right but still, you're lucky you get to hang out with Tracy everyday" Alex says with a giddy smile on his face... I hate it. Ignoring his comment, we drive to Tyler's place

In all honesty I don't want to go. Weird I know right but being around them reminds me of the person that hurt Tracy, the person that Tracy hates. Instead of me trying to mend my relationship with Tracy I am forced to hang out with people I know will be in my life for the rest of my life... but will Tracy be. 

As Alex pulls up into Tyler's driveway, I take a deep breath getting ready for the explosion of questions Harper and Tyler will ask me.