Take Me Home (City Series #4)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

L

Hindi ko alam kung paano bumangon.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako gagalaw.

Pero kailangan.

"Shobe, your dress is ready, right?" tanong ni Mommy.

I didn't look at her, but I nodded. Naka-tingin lang ako sa kawalan. Rinig ko ang mga tao sa baba na nag-hahanda para sa party nina Mommy mamayang gabi. They're hosting a small, formal party for Dad's birthday.

"The caterers are downstairs. Do you wanna see what we picked out for the menu?" tanong ulit ni Mommy.

I shook my head.

"Okay, anak. Just.. be ready by 4 pm, please?"

I nodded and buried my face on my pillow. Nung narinig kong sinara na ang pintuan ko, I started crying.

Again.

Taylor Swift once said, home is where the heart is. But she also once said, I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere I want, just not home. And this has got to be the most horrible feeling. It's not just a simple sad moment. It's tearing me apart, bit by bit. I've always thought people were crazy, exaggerating the pain whenever they'd break up with their lover. But no one ever really prepares you for how soul crushing it is. No sad song, no tear-jerking movie, no book could ever prepare you for this kind of pain. The kind of pain where the only thing you want is to go back to him, go back to the person who has your heart, go back to your home. But you can't.

I usuallt associated home with the place I sleep at night, the place I grew up in, the place our family and friends are or the place that is our address. When people asked me where my home is, I would often reply with #25, Sunset Lane, Greenview Hills, Bakakeng, Baguio City, 2600. When people ask where home is, we reply with this city.

But lately I've been starting to realize home isn't anything other than someone giving you a reason to stay.

Home is that person that makes you feel secure. That person who makes life better simply by existing and standing next to you. The person that reminds you, whatever it is you are going through, you aren't going through it alone. That person that gives you something to want to come back to.

Bakit ngayon wala na akong mauwian?

"Lia?" Katok ng isang babae sa pintuan ko. "Hey, how are you?"

I blinked my tears away and looked at Magui. May dala siyang gown para sa event mamaya, but she's only wearing her pajamas now.

"I.. I talked to Miggy." Mage bit her lip. "I'm sorry you're going through this."

"What did Miggy say?" I asked.

"He told me everything. About Elena, Z.. everything. Sabi niya wala na daw kayo ni Z?" Mage looked like she was the one in pain. "Tapos na ba talaga kayo? You guys just spent your anniversary together, diba?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Finished na."

"Miggy said that.. you might be mad at them too." Sumimangot si Mage. "I understand that, Lia, I really do. But he explained rin sa akin the whole situation. Especially Ethan's. Miggy, mali talaga.. but Ethan genuinely didn't know anything. He had a hunch but didn't confirm or deny anything. He.. he's avoiding Miggy and Z na rin, medyo. He can't find it in himself to speak to them daw."

Umiling ako. "Ayokong may masira. I don't want friendships to be ruined just because Z and I are over."

"Miggy's an asshole, that's what he is. Nakakainis siya. He's a nice friend nga pero tinatakasan nila yung mga maling ginawa nila. Akala ba niya isang sorry lang mawawala na yung sakit na binigay nila sa'yo?" Mage sighed. "I don't think I can talk to them muna rin right now."