the book of heartbreak

day 5

Yesterday you said it wasn't your job to make me happy anymore, and I tried to accept that, but I couldn't.

Our conversations aren't as natural anymore. It always seems to drift off somewhere and it's forced, as if both of us are scared of it ending.

Today was awkward, because we have the same friends. I left when you came and you were going to say something to me, but I walked away before you could. You didn't chase after me.

I saw a picture on Instagram of one of the girls you didn't like and she was kissing a boy. The boy looked like you. I didn't say anything because I knew you wouldn't do that to me, but it's always possible, right?

I just want to feel close to you again. I want to have long conversations with you and laugh with you.

You walked behind me in the hallway today, and I didn't turn around to talk to you because I knew you wouldn't say anything back. That killed me, too.