What You Caused
By Vallwrites
~
The love that you supposedly had for me
was proved a lie
the moment your hand made contact with my skin.
The mark on the surface eventually disappeared,
but the mark you left on my soul
forever remained.
You never thought about how it would perish my mind
and ruin who I once was.
To you,
it was discipline,
deserved discipline.
But,
was it really worth it?
Over a spilt drink,
a broken plate,
being too loud.
Such little accidents,
which kids are bound to make.
But you thought it was rebellious behaviour,
perhaps to punish you for all you did to me.
You decided that you could not deal
with my childish behaviour
and my inevitable mistakes.
So,
you made me grow up,
much sooner than I should have.
It worked out well
for you.
But for me?
It ruined everything.
Everyone I met and every new journey I experienced
also came with the sound of your voice in my head,
critiquing me, belittling me, making me doubt every decision.
When others were running around freely, screaming and laughing in the wind, playing with toys, being themselves,
I was being taught to think of others,
and to put my own emotions to the side
because they did not matter.
Now,
I can read people like a book,
I know exactly what they are feeling,
and what they are thinking,
and how they want me to act.
I know all the ways to please someone.
But,
in the process,
I sacrifice my own needs
and my own happiness,
because that it what you always taught me to do.
That is what you caused.
22.08.2022
