Lonely
By Vallwrites
~
I'm in a room full of people,
people who I know,
people who I'm comfortable with,
people who should make me feel wanted,
people who should make me feel seen.
But their eyes skim past me,
and their words are forced,
because they don't know what to say to me,
and they would rather speak to anyone
but me.
I haven't spoken for half an hour.
I want to see how long it will take them to realise.
Would they even care if I just walked out?
Would they even notice?
What am I even doing here?
I'm purely an inconvenience.
A problem.
I'm starting to realise that I wasn't invited because they want me there,
I was invited because of one feeling: pity.
They
pitied
me.
And that,
just made me feel so much more lonely,
because I began to wonder:
why is it so hard to speak to me?
Why is it so hard to communicate with me?
To love me,
to care for me,
to see me.
I just want to be heard
and I want to be seen.
Sometimes,
I feel so fucking invisible.
26.08.2022
