Tw: Panic attacks, Self loathing, slight suicidal thoughts? (Not major)
Grian soared above the dark oak forest, a feeling of numbness having filled his mind. He was no longer crying, but he knew he had to stop soon, fly back, apologize. But... he couldn't. He couldn't go back, he'd grown so close to Eyn in such a short time... and if they died too... Life was too short to make connections, too short to make friends with those who couldn't fight against the rebels targeting them! And he knew nothing about them... He made a choice, and pulled out his communicator, opening up a private chat with Eyn.
<Grian> Hey Eyn, I'm sorry, but I think I'm gonna stay out here tonight. I'll still do the spell, but I... just don't think I'm up to sharing a home with someone tonight! Sorry!
He waited a few minutes, but he got no reply.
<Grian> Eyn? Are you okay?
<Grian> Eyn I'm starting to get scared-
<Grian> Eyn this isn't funny-
<Grian> Eyn if your mad just say so-
<Grian> Eyn you're really scaring me!
He began to panic again. What if the watchers got Eyn again- What if Eyn was mind controlled again- X wouldn't hesitate to ban Eyn... His breathing ramped up, as he clicked the button to try and do a voice call. Maybe Eyn just had their communicator set to silent... Yeah! That's it! But it rang... and rang... and rang... and still, no response.
<Grian> Eyn... Please answer-
<Grian> Eyn...
Grian pulled off the necklace. He couldn't just abandon Eyn, He had to find them- Whatever had happened to them had to have been his fault, his fault, his fault... Slipping the mask on with shaking hands, he felt the pool of magic in his chest filling. Violet light swirled around him, and he closed his eyes as he lurched up, as if pulled into the air, before his feet hit the ground once more. He opened his eyes to the violet tinted world from his mask.
"Eyn? Are you there?! Eyn?!"
"D- don't hurt me!" A shaking voice choked out weakly, terror shredding their voice into a quiet stutter.
He looked down to see Eyn huddled into a ball on the ground, sobbing. "Don't hurt me I'll do whatever you ask please-" Eyn begged weakly. "I'll do anything-"
"Oh Eyn-" His eyes widened as he realised he was in watcher form. He was a idiot, a idiot for not remembering, he was so insensitive and such a bad friend... No, he wasn't even a friend, he didn't deserve the title of friend. He transformed back, pulling off his mask and putting the necklace on. "Eyn it's me, X- Grian. It's Grian... You're safe..." He tried to place his hand on their shoulder, but they recoiled violently, causing Grian to jerk his hand back.
"D- don't hurt me..." Eyn sniffled desperately. "I did what you asked... I tried to destroy the server- please..."
"I didn't ask you to do anything..." Grian tried to soothe the cowering enby before him. "You're safe, in the cottage we built... Remember? I'll never let the rebels touch you again."
It was hard to soothe Eyn when he himself was a utter mess right now. Eyn deserved someone better to protect them, not someone afraid of even showing himself, not someone who couldn't go a day without falling apart...
"No... You're trying to trick me... This is another trick..! You've messed with my memory again..." Eyn started to shiver violently, and Grian's eyes widened.
He was making it worse, worse, he made everything worse... He couldn't help but instead of Eyn, see Taurtis cowering from him as he tried to soothe him... Days before...that happened... No, he had to stay present... He couldn't even keep his mind on the situation on hand- He couldn't do this, he couldn't, why was he so USELESS?
YOU ARE READING
Battle Scars - A Watcher-Grian AU story
FanfictionHe thought it'd be easy, just go into a server and keep a eye out for glitches... Spoiler alert: It was not. He didn't factor in lying to the whole server, hiding his magic, old friends, and his own trauma. Oh, and the whole war going on. That too.
