Please don't leave again - sbi adoption au

Living full of self hate - 13

A/n just wanted to say look at how many different places in the world to guys come from my demographics. It's crazy to think how many places that people are fro, That are across the world people are reading my silly little story. Enjoy reading.

Trigger warnings - unintentional self harm, crying , shouting, censored swearing.

Tommy POV

when I heard those few words utter of my sibling's mouth I felt almost betrayed.

they had said they couldn't speak after what had happened. Out of pure fear. They said that they had stopped hearing him. Telling them to draw lines on their skin. 

Like they were told to do when we were at the old house.

 "Y/n but you said that... You can speak?....you still hear him?... Not their fault.

(fallen down started playing at this so I had to make it angsty)

I could feel the tears pour down my face in thick, wet globs.

(What is wrong with me it's 11:32, I'm very tired and don't know why I'm up but everything seems funny.)

" But...b.but you said... Y/n? "

 "Tom it's okay" Tubbo said before walking over to my side and placing his shoulder by my head, for me to use it. So I did.

 I hadn't cried this much in a while. A long while.

Not since we were at the old house and I had to watch them get hurt without being able to do anything.

I don't know how long i had been asleep. asleep

It felt like days but when I woke up it was slightly darker than before.

The door was ajar. A small light escaping out of it. Noises. Relatively quiet emitting through the doorway.

Then a shadow quite large covered the previously lit hallway.

I couldn't see who it was and when I tried to get up to see who it was I felt a small hand on my shoulder keep me down on the soft bed .

There was more blankets than before and a wet flannel on my head.

That's when the headache came back rushing in with the rest of the blood to my head making me dizzy and fall back down.

 "Y/n and Tubbo can you please go get him some snacks, sugary . Okay ?and more pillows and blankets."

 My brain had gone fuzzy and I couldn't tell who's voice it was. I could barely feel anything because of how soft everything was. Nothing felt real. One second I'm crying the next I'm alseep in an ungodly amont of pillows and blankets with lots of people near me.

Weren't we supposed to angry at Phil and his family?

Oh... Yeah but what about them still hearing them. Still don't trust Phil and his family is trying to brainwash my sibling.

Y/n POV

I knew Tommy would've hated me for telling Phil but I didn't want him to be hurt anymore.

He had been asleep for a while and when he finally woke up still mad. Even mad at me. I was very confused at why but tried to suck it up.

Jesus can't you take some anger.

He's mad at you and so am i.

You spoke didn't you again.

That's three strikes.

One from at home with me. You wouldn't listen.

noise grew 

Two from miss Jenkins at the nice orphanage.

It got louder and louder.

AND THREE FOR  F*CKING TALKING TO YOUR B*TCHES FOR BROTHERS ABOUT ME.

I couldn't take it. My ears were ringing.

I didn't want it to happen. for all of the pain to come back. Tommy needed help at this moment so I gave all of my stuff to Tubbo and went over into the first room I could find with a lock.

Thankfully it wasn't the bathroom or Phil would've kicked it down. 

In fact ,it was a room I wasn't very familiar with at all.

It was very pretty. A nice bookshelf with Books that were all solong it would take me years to read. Small candles all over the room. A small but chic chandelier hung from the light while the curtains stayed drawn.

There was a small closet In the corner of the room and a bean bag in the other corner slightly more hidden .

(Ooh its about to turn 12:00

it is 12:00!!! don't ask, I'm weird ok. I usually go to sleep at like 10:30-11:00 but I guess not?! )

I went over to the corner and tried to ignore the growing pain in my head and the screams of my dear dad.

I needed to stop the pain in my head so I started biting things. Anything. First it was the bean bag then, the bed cover and then ,myself.

i got hard into my fingers trying to stop the overwhelming pain as it slowly started to seep away with each deeper bite mark.

I signed after a few minutes when my head had stopped hurting and I climbed out of the corner and opened the door hoping no one noticed I was gone.

I made my way over to the kitchen quietly and found myself some water to drink.

The glass cup felt heavy in my weak hands and I almost dropped it using both of my shaking hands to balance it slightly more.

I walked over to the living room and sat down on the floor. Slowly humming to myself and calming myself down not noticing my very red hands..some parts had started to bleed the others not so much but it was still concerning.

Wiping what I could see on the soft carpet and resting the back do my head on the sofa.

I started to slightly bounce up and down slightly shaking my whole arms feeling a weird sensation in them and making a satisfied noise.

(something I actually do a lot btw)

Techno POV

I hadn't noticed for a while but y/n hadn't came back with Tubbo I tried not to worry about it but Phil had got much stricter with our rules and keeping an eye on them all of the time.

I wandered off ADHD getting the best of me, and tried to see if I could find them. I went off to the kitchen noticing how hungry is was them into the garden and into the garage. when I finished downstairs I went back upstairs and went into my room.

I had found that some things were out of place. Like my duvet was slightly off the mattress and how my bean bag looked used after I had just cleaned my room.

Y/n must have been In here.

I walked over to my bedside and cleaned up my cover seeing small marks in it slightly damp. had they cried?

I fixed the bean bag seeing similar marks but more distinguishable teeth marks.

They had been biting things?

They could've had a panic attack or worse so i end up going to get Phil. Only to find him preoccupied with Tommy so I went downstairs to see a small child sitting humming and shaking their arms while making a pleased sort of nosie.

The sight would've seemed almost normal. If their hands weren't covered in marks and slight bloodied cuts.

A/n

Hey, so I accidentally deleted this a/n while trying to edit the chapter and fix my awful amount of mistakes. Apparently it said something about to to bed like I'm going to and eat food and do something funny. 

Ok go do that besties! I love you all for reading 

Word count :1202