Chapter 19: Anxiety

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"ah, here" after getting brought back to my senses, I immediately handed the ball back to him. He was just standing there but his aura was really different.  If I were to compare him, he would be like that of a prince of a large kingdom. Maybe that is why I was feeling something strange meeting him this close.

"Thanks" he replied plainly. But in contrast to what I am feeling from him, what the rumors told were really true I see. When he is talking to girls, he rarely show any emotion. I wonder why..? Perhaps... A-ani. Stop overthinking something like him possibly being more into boys. He does not look like one to be so at all.

"You're welcome" I answered quickly before walking away. I shouldn't stay any longer with him, otherwise, they may get the wrong idea. But...

I stopped midway and faced him again. I was just curious why... He...

"But, are you really okay?" I asked.

I am just concerned. It is not just this time that I noticed it. That time too during lunchtime. He seems to be like in pain. Of course, I am not sure of it. But I get the feeling that he is enduring some pain.

However, upon hearing my response, his expression changed. Although he still wore the same poker expression, I just could feel that his emotion changed. I don't know why I am feeling this though.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Ani.. geunyang.. aren't you in pain?" I started feeling shy so I looked away. It just sank in to me that I am not well acquainted with this person. And yet I am being too nosy to him now.

But for some reason he did not respond. I looked back at him but he just stood there with his usual poker face.

W..was I wrong..? Maybe I really was (。ŏ﹏ŏ)

"A-anyway, if you really are, you should get it treated if you don't want it to worsen. It's better that you don't regret anything. I'll excuse myself now!"

Without waiting any longer, I left hurriedly going back to where my class is. But truth is, I was just really concerned. I just felt like he was really in pain. Maybe because I have been through that kind of experience as well. I don't want him to end up the same situation that I had. Wherein you can't even do the simplest things and you are forced to stay at your home.

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And.. that was how we first met. I thought it would just end there. But I never new it was just the beginning. The beginning of the calm before the storm. I wonder why... Why does the past seem to repeat itself...? I...

"Wonyoung-a! Ya..!" Yeji's voice snapped me back to reality.

"O-oh?" I answered as I got startled.

"We're here. You were spacing out for quite a long time. Are you really okay?" She asked.

I looked around and I realized that we have actually already arrived at my condominium. Maybe it was because of what had just happened today. It was too messed up... I never expected to meet Karina again after such a long time. It brought so much memory from the past.

"Hmm.. sorry" I just replied in a weak voice. I felt my energy getting drained. A lot of things just happened today. My mind couldn't keep up at all.

"Hah.. guess it was a good choice I called a doctor to come here. He will do a simple check-up on you so that we can make sure you are really okay" she explained as she pushed my wheelchair further to the living room.

"I am okay, Yeji. Don't worry" I said with a smile trying to assure her.

But having the thought that I am on a wheel chair again makes me feel like I traveled to the past again. Although I don't think my injury would take that long to heal. It still reminds me of when I had to be on a wheel char back then.

"And you think I would believe that? You know what, I did noticed lately that you have been acting strange. I don't know why though" Yeji stopped his steps and walked around me. She stopped right in front of mw and bent down.

"...." But I couldn't bring myself to answer her question. There is no way I could tell her about my past. Yeji.. no– everyone will come to hate me. And it will surely be the end of me this time.

"W..what do you mean? I don't have a problem. Pfft- You are just overthinking things" I said laughing. Maja.. I laughed it off, acting as if nothing was really wrong. I.. I never really changed. Still a liar.

"Really?"

"Yep. I just feel tired" I reassured.

"Well, I guess that is an acceptable reason. You did seem to be more overworked" she said giving up.

She really seemed to have bought my excuse. I guess that is a good thing for now. She just proceeded to preparing dinner for us since we are waiting for the doctor to arrive. After our meal, the doctor arrived and conducted a check-up on me.

He did say that my injury will heal up in just a few days. And that I can go to school, regardless. Although I will still have to use a wheelchair to make sure it heals up quicker. He also prescribed me some medicine. Apart from my ankle, everything is okay.

"Well, that's a good news" Yeji sighed in relief. I just realized now that Yeji had a tensed face all this time. Was she really that worried?

"Yes, ma'am. There is no need to worry as of now" the doctor answered.

"But will you be fine alone, Wonyoung-a? Wouldn't you need someone to help you move around?"

"I can manage. This is not the first time anyway" I smiled shyly.

It is indeed not the first time. I had been into many sorts of trouble in school. You could say that it is like my way to cope up with my past. Or maybe the pressure to make a change myself than I was in the past. I wanted to get along with everyone. And make sure I make no enemies. So yeah.. given my body is relatively weaker than others, I was clumsy. And things happened...

"Gosh, you really can't be helped. Anyway, make sure to call me or Soobin if you need help okay?"

I just nodded to her as response.

"Well then, see you tomorrow"

But before she could finish her sentence, I cut her off without hesitation.

"I will not go to school for awhile"

"Huh? The doctor said you could still go though" Yeji got taken aback as it was a bit rare for me not to go to school even with an injury. Back then, it was the opposite. Yeji would pursuade me to rest but I would insist to still go to school because I did not want to miss any classes. This time is different.

I.. I don't think I could face Sunghoon for now. More so, I am afraid Karina will come back to our school. If we see each other again, then she might...

"Yeji-a, I think it would be better for me this time to properly rest until my my ankle goes back to normal" I said with a smile, concealing the anxiety dwelling up inside me.

"T..that's rare for you to say that. Did you finally learn your lesson now?" Yeji half jokingly said. I just laughed and nodded in response.

"Okay then. I will send you my notes for the classes. I'll handle your excise letter for all subjects as well.

"Thanks!"

"I'll get going now, then. Make sure to becarefull, okay?"

And then, she finally left.

Silence was the only thing that filled the room now.

And the sound of my tears falling to my thighs.

I couldn't bring my head up as anxiety finally eats up my mind and heart.

I just...

I just don't know what to do from now on...

The past...

I don't want that thing to happen again.

.
.
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"I.. I lied. I never really liked you... Sunghoon"

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