Red Vs Blue Male OC season 13

You Better Watch Out

Fade in to Kimball and her assault team driving through unsettled territory in Warthogs and tanks.

Soldier: (over radio) General Kimball, we've just got word from the away team.

UNSETTLED TERRITORY

Kimball: What's the news?

Soldier: (over radio) Well... apparently they found Santa.

South: The fuck?!

All of the vehicles come to a halt. Cut to Dr. Grey, Tucker, Will, Ava, Alex, and Caboose at the Jungle Temple. Carolina approaches them.

Carolina: Kimball's moving ahead with the assault. They should be reaching Alpha any minute.

Tucker: Then we gotta hurry.

Santa: Are you sure there is no end to your questions?

Grey: You have no idea.

Epsilon: Alright, let's not start foaming at the mouth here.

Grey: I can foam wherever I want, thank you very much!

Santa: (clears throat) The legacy of my creators is scattered throughout the galaxy. Their history, their technology, all left behind for future species to discover. This planet, the one you've claimed as Chorus, was one of great importance. It is here that they've kept some of their most valued treasures.

Tucker: What kind of treasures we talking about? Like Indiana Jones Golden Island treasures? (moans in annoyance) Or is it some stupid metaphorical stuff like (mocking exposition tone) "The real treasure was friendship the whole time".

Alex: The ship Crunch Bite stole was a treasure.

Tucker: That sucked.

Ava: Don't forget Churches body he used for a while.

Will: Biggest pain in the ass but the laser he had was cool.

Grey: What laser and ship.

Tucker: It's a long story.

Santa: My creators bequeathed many gifts and you will find each locked away within a temple. Lavernius Tucker, you triggered the Temple of Arms. With its power you reactivated combat vehicles, weaponry and a myriad of other technological models from the time long past. These are merely a fraction of the gifts left behind by my creator.

Grey: That's amazing!

Tucker: So then why'd you turn it off?

Santa: I encountered an anomaly. The temples on this planet can only be activated with a key wielded by a true warrior. However, some time ago, one of my temples was meddled with.

Carolina: (facetious) I wonder who that could've been.

Caboose: Probably Space Pirates.

Carolina: I was being facetious.

Tucker: Dude, making up words is not gonna make you sound smarter.

Grey: FOCUS!!

Santa: The temple was designed to form a defensive barrier around the planet by manipulating gravity. The meddlers managed to circumvent my security measures and partially activated the temple, giving them moderate control over the planet's gravitational field.

Caboose: Tell him how the elves are involved Santa.

Will: Shut the fuck up Caboose.

Epsilon: He's talking about the tractor beams.