Fade in to Crash Site Alpha. Two Feds - a Technician and a Soldier - are taking cover behind rocks and ship wreckage. There's a firefight ongoing around them.
Lap Fed: Oh God, I'm hit!
Crash Site Fed: Medic! We need a medic over here!
The Rebel Medic runs to them.
Rebel Medic: I'm a medic! Calm down, soldier. Where are you hit?
Lap Fed: Oh, those bastards got me. They got me right in the lap!
Rebel Medic: Alright, ah... I'm sorry, what was that?
Lap Fed: Urrgh, the lap!! I was shot in the lap!!
Rebel Medic: So, like your upper thigh?
Crash Site Fed: Didn't you hear him? He said HIS LAP!!!
Lap Fed: Oh God, my lap!!
Rebel Medic: It's just that that's not really proper anatomical-
Crash Site Fed: (interrupts) Well, excuse my friend here for not being a certified medical genius!!
Lap Fed: Ungh, come on, lady! I need some slack, I'm bleeding out here!!
Rebel Medic: Um, right. Sorry. Are you hit anywhere else?
Lap Fed: Uh, my tummy!
Crash Site Fed: They got'im right in the tummy.
Rebel Medic: (sighs) This is gonna be a long day.
The Reds drive past in their Warthog. Cut to the Reds, Grif stops the Warthog.
Sarge: Simmons! Status report!
Simmons: We're completely surrounded, severely unprepared and reinforcements aren't coming any time soon!
South: In outher worlds were well mostly you guys are completely and utterly fucked.
Sarge: (climbs out of the warthog) Excellent news!!
Grif: Excellent?!
South: I think being a cornol has made you insane.
Sarge: I was beginning to worry this wasn't gonna be much of a fight! But ya gotta hand it to those villains, always one step ahead. (chuckles) You can learn a thing or two from them, Simmons.
Simmons: I'll be sure to keep that in mind if we survive, sir.
Grif hops out of the warthog.
Grif: (mockingly) Any bright ideas, Colonel?
Sarge: The way I see it, we'll punch through the Pirates' defenses with an adrenaline-fueled slow-motion car crash! Thus creating an opening for us to escape and allowing me to scratch one more thing off my "fuck it"-list.
Grif: How do you just make something slow-motion?
South: That doesn't seem physical possible infect it is impossible Rode Island tried to get a car to fly in slow motion and she died in an explosion.
Sarge: If it's epic enough, life finds a way. Then it wasn't epic enough.
Simmons: Love the enthusiasm! It's great, sir. Really. But don't you think we could try something, that won't get my head blown off?
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue Male OC season 13
FanfictionThe Idiot assholes are back. The Reds and Blues ended the Cival war on Corus now they are in a new war they have to fight space pirates. With the discovery of temples Tucker's sword hass more importanc and a race to activate the templs has begun who...
