The Knowledge of the Hidden

Chapter 6

When I go home that night, Luke notices something is different right away. He follows me around all evening, begging me to tell him what's wrong. I didn't have the heart to snap at him. Instead, I barely say a word. Eventually he gives up, and retreats to his room.

I don't know how I'll face the next day, or the next, or any more for the rest of my life. I feel as numb as I did when I lost my mom. I force myself to remember my reason to live. Luke. Even if I wanted to leave, I could never leave him. He makes my decision for me. I know I have to pull myself together for him.

It's easier than I expect to fall into the routine. The next couple days I do the same things, and quickly I lose any opinion about it. It is what it is. It is how it has to be.

Each day I wake, get ready, see Luke off to school, and head to my future house to plan the wedding. Julian talks most of the time we are together, leaving me to just smile and nod for the most part. Julian is a touchy person, which I'm still not used to, but I'm at least learning to hide my aversion to it. He is constantly stealing kisses, pulling me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me from behind. It would irritate me if I hadn't lost any and all ability to feel.

Before I've even had a chance to give it more than a passing thought, the wedding is less than twenty four hours away. I'm sitting on Julian's lap, less by choice than by obligation, and we are finishing up the final wedding details when there is a loud knock on the door.

"Come in!" Julian yells lazily, expecting I suppose, that it's more deliveries of wedding stuff. The door creaks open. I keep my eyes trained on the slate in front of me. "Just put it by the door," Julian calls over his shoulder, not looking up either.

"I, uh, actually I need to speak to Lilly," Josh's voice fills the room. I jump off Julian's lap and whip around, staring at him in shock.

"Who are you?" Julian asks, slowly standing from the couch.

"Oh, he's a family friend," I say quickly, rushing for the door. "Probably here about dress code for the wedding or something. I'll be right back." I shove Josh from the house and around the side. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?" I demand, eyes darting back and forth for patrols. "Do you have any idea how much danger you'd be in if you got caught!?"

"I had to talk to you," Josh replies stubbornly, crossing his arms across his chest. "And you wouldn't come to the outskirts, so..."

"So you decided that risking your life was the only reasonable option." I groan, rolling my eyes. "Good to see magic hasn't done anything for your intelligence." We stare at each other in silence for a moment, neither one dropping the gaze of the other.

"I'm not leaving without you," Josh says finally.

"Please," I scoff. "You expect me to believe that you've just been sitting around the outskirts? You already did leave without me. Twice. And you should have no problem doing it again."

"I waited," Josh says. "For hours. You never came back. I thought you didn't want to see me."

"Well you were right. I don't want to see you. You should have stayed away."

"I tried," Josh says, his voice barely audible. I hold his gaze, trying my best not to let it betray my feelings. "You're right. I did leave. But I didn't make it far. Before I was even half way to the camp I turned around and came back. I waited in the outskirts for three days hoping you would show up, but you never did. So, I came to find you."

"Well you shouldn't have," I snap. "This is my choice, not yours. So leave me alone."

"Lilly, please," Josh begs, grabbing my hand as I turn to leave. I stop, but don't look back, allowing his hand to keep hold of mine just for the moment. "You don't belong here."