mélancolie | giroud

-cinq-

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"Oh, it's all about a woman"

Elenie's voice sounds weird as the words leave her mouth, the brownish warm eyes piercing right into mine.

"I am sorry to disappoint you, it must seem pathetic for a therapist who gets to work with murderers and such"

The sudden harshness swinging in the syllables wasn't even supposed to come along but I can't hide my desperation because of her pure disinterest.

She presses her lips into a thin line and tangles her fingers together, trying her best to avoid any eye contact.

The awkward tension between both of us is only my fault, the chastening result of my unconscious actions.

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"Alright, I will stay"

Elenie's words cause me to feel relieved as I look down for a brief moment before locking our glances again. There is still only a tiny gap between our tensed bodies; a tiny gap that could be closed within seconds if I wanted to.

I could be all cheesy and tell her that I could get lost in the endless-seeming dark streams that are her eyes but romantic words simply don't seem to fit our situation.

I keep quiet as my fingers find their way into her straight hair, moving downwards to connect them with her smooth pale skin. Elenie's gaze is glued to my lips as I run my thumb over her soft ones, drawing along the perfect curved outlines.

"You might as well just kiss me"

I am surprised to hear the beautiful Asian-featured French practically demanding for our lips to touch but I couldn't ever complain.

"Cause Girl you earned it, s-"

My therapist groans in defeat and escapes my enveloping arms easily; accepting an incoming call.

What the hell was that, my mind literally screams as I can think clearly again and listen to Elenie speaking rapid French with the caller, what has gotten into you Giroud? Do you really want to give in as easily as you did with Sofie? I don't even know her properly so I can't like her.

"Salut"

Elenie ends the call and sends me an awkward look before gesturing to my empty seat and sits down on her own one.

"Are you still not trusting me or are we finally at the point where you know that I won't tell the media?"

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"Let's finish today's appointment, right?" Elenie says and I nod in agreement.

We shake hands briefly but the light touch of her cold, porcellain-skinned hand somehow attracts me to her. I quickly let go of her and leave the little room, not stopping or slowing down until I am finally outside again, gasping for fresh air as if I had been breathless all the time.

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Three days after I've last seen her angelic features mixed with the grace in her every move, Deschamps approaches me during practise, telling Antoine to pair with Paul and pulling me aside.

"I heard you attended a few appointments so far and I am proud of you Giroud, I am just curious how it went in your opinion"

My mouth feels as dry as if a tornado churns through my throat as I search for the right words.

"It was alright I guess, it kind of helped me"

Liar.

Now images of Sofie and Elenie are creeping into my mind and grasping onto it tightly, not willing to get out again.