The Price You Pay

The Price You Pay: Chapter 13

I sort through the clothes and pick out what I want to try, leaving the skirts and tight fitting tops on the side from the start. I keep a couple of tank tops, figuring I can put them on underneath Maya's pyjamas or under my sweater.

All the clothes are too big. They are either Sara's or Maya's. Sara of course is about a feet taller than I am, and Maya is apparently bigger in girth. For the first time, I really wonder how much weight I must have lost. As I don't like to look at my body, either directly or via a mirror, I can only tell I have lost weight by the way my own clothes hang around me where they once fit.

I shrug. It's not important.

When I am done, I have a small pile of clothes I could consider to wear, and a big pile of clothes I want to give back to Maya. Deciding it's a bit unnecessary to bring them downstairs, I leave them on my bed and I bring the clothes I want to keep with my suitcase to the walk-in closet in the room. I'm in the Malhotra's debt so much already. I force myself not to think of this too much.

I am so tired. My heart is pounding heavily, and to me that's a tell tale sign of my fatigue. Falling asleep on the couch in the middle of a living room could be interpreted as a sign as well. I wish I could go to sleep, but I'm not sure if Maya will be okay with this. So far she has never told me off for sleeping at the most ungodly hours, but surely her patience must come to an end soon?

And, as so far things have been going pretty okay, I would dearly like to stay in Maya's good graces. So I collect myself, rub my face to get rid of the drowsiness a little, and go downstairs to meet the woman I should probably call my foster mother.

She is bustling around in the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher. She stands up and greets me with a smile as she notices me.

"Boy, you really are quiet," she says. "Did you sort through the clothes?"

I nod, a bit apprehensive still.

"Was there anything to your liking? I know they are borrowed clothes, but I hope you know this is only a temporary solution."

Her words confuse me, so I do nothing. The only thing I am worried about is that I feel guilty to be wearing others' clothes. Getting new ones would be worse, though. I don't have any money to pay them back.

Maya then gestures towards the kitchen table, which has a newspaper on it. "We're old-fashioned," she says almost apologetically, "and we like to read the paper paper still. Renee told us you like to keep track of the news, so…"

I look from the table to Maya. Again I am stunned by the ways in which they try to accommodate me.

"Coffee?"

I nod, too surprised to be wary.

Wait. Renee told them…?

What else did Renee say about me? Have they spoken to her after they collected me at the airport?

Distracted by the questions that bombard my mind, I see how Maya sets the coffee down on the kitchen table. "I need to go to the laundry room. Will you be okay here? Why don't you sit and read for a while, and drink some coffee?"

My eyes must be wide. I can't remember the last time I blinked at this point in time. Something has happened yesterday. While I was out, maybe. Maya is completely different with me. It's liberating, confusing, alarming and relaxing all at the same time.

"Sit. Come find me if you need me, but maybe you could just try to relax a little? The anxiety must wear you out."

It does, actually. But it's not like I can turn it off.

"I'll leave you here now. Will you be okay?"

I nod again. I think the questions wear me out even more than the anxiety does, come to think of it.