Chapter 1

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It was Marty Pocock's first day at Ferndale Sixth Form, and things were getting off to a fine start.

"Settle down, sixth formers! Silence!" called Mr Porter, but his warning went unheeded by most of the students (including Marty). After all, he just had to tell his mates about his holiday in Berlin. How he'd bought twenty varieties of German sausage and found one the same size as his dick. He was about to show his friends a picture of said sausage when someone walked in and silenced everyone.

Clearly, she was a new girl – Marty had never seen a face so beautiful. With winged eyeliner and pink eyeshadow, she looked like a model. Her hair was wavy and strawberry blonde; her ribbed shirt was an appealing shade of purple. And every eye was on her.

After surveying the crowd of staring students, she opted to take a seat at the back with the popular girls, and then Mr Porter's presentation began.

*

"Did you see that girl?" said Marty as soon as the presentation was over and all the students were chattering noisily.

"What girl?" said Everett. Of course he wouldn't care – he only had eyes for his girlfriend Amelia, who was currently studying Engineering at Greenling College.

"The girl who walked in late, stupid."

"She looks pretty in a conventional way," said Hassan, "but she's not my type."

"How do you know that if you haven't even talked to her?" asked Jade, her right eyebrow raised.

"Well, I don't normally fancy girls with make-up. It's just a fact."

Then the friends got on to discussing their timetables for the day. Marty had one lesson for each of his subjects – PE, Biology and Psychology. Luckily, he shared one of his frees with both Everett and Hassan. Jade, however, did not have any frees today.

"I have one lesson for each of my subjects and then there's EPQ," explained Jade in response to her friends' confusion.

"Why on earth are you doing EPQ?" asked Marty. "Isn't four A-levels enough?"

"If I get an A or above in my EPQ, universities can lower the grade requirements for getting in."

"You don't need lowered grade requirements! Everyone knows you're gonna get four A*s!"

Jade just rolled her eyes. Being the smartest girl in her year group came with high expectations she wasn't sure she could live up to.

"Well, I'm off to Biology now," said Marty with a grin; then with a peace sign turned the wrong way round, he said "Bye losers!"

*

Upon arriving in the Biology class, Mr Sanchez ordered the students to line up against the wall in height order. Marty inwardly groaned. His short height was a sore spot for him, and now he was going to be exposed for it. But all his laments soon disappeared as he realised that he would be standing next to the new girl – she turned out to be just a little shorter than he was.

"Right class, I'm now going to pick your lab partners. These will be your lab partners for the rest of the year. No complaining, please."

Much to Marty's delight, he was paired up with the new girl, who now had a name – Lucy Ambrose. When they started their first practical (testing for starch in crisps), Marty started talking to her.

"So, which school do you come from?" he asked.

"I'm from Greenling Secondary School. I'm guessing you're from Ferndale?"

Marty was surprised. How had Amelia never mentioned that there was an absolute hottie in her year group?

"Yeah, I am. Why'd you decide to come here?"

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