LOVE AT THE FORUM

Chapter 31: Mamí

"Maggie, you need to get out of bed. We can't keep doing this babe. I have to go to work to pay the mortgage here. I can't keep missing work to be with your mom. That was our deal. You are on paid leave, you have to do this Maggie. I'm so tired."

"You're tired? What about me Charles?! You think it's not draining seeing what chemo does to my mom?"

He looked at me red in the face, his voice louder than it had ever been with me, "Maggie grow the fuck up. You need to grow the fuck up right now. I woke up early, I took your sister to fucking school. I made her breakfast. I packed her lunch. And you just wallowed in bed. I'm sick of it. There is only so much weight I can pull around here."

I bit my lip, refusing to cry, but I couldn't control it. I knew he was right. I knew he was giving up so much for me and my family already. I was just so tired I needed someone to take it out on. I watched as his face softened and he crawled into bed with me, holding me close. I was suddenly very aware that I hadn't showered in a couple days, and I started to pull away.

"Hey, hey, no, don't pull away Maggie."

"I haven't showered, I know I reek." I cried, embarrassment now fueling my tears.

"Babe I love you in every shape and form. Even when you smell just a little like B.O." he kissed my lips laughing softly.

I felt myself crying more and hiding my face in his chest, "I can't keep doing this to you Charles. I love you too much to keep doing this to you."

"Maggie," he sighed, "We said we wouldn't talk about this yet. Remember? No talk about our relationship until your mom is home and better. Please."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead, "Okay."

"Now please Margarita, get up and shower, and go to your mom's chemo appointment so I can go to work."

I nodded reluctantly as he let go, getting up to get ready. I felt the pain in my heart knowing that the countdown to my mom getting better, was also the countdown to our inevitable breakup.

I hadn't moved from the chairs outside my mom's room when I heard him running down the hall. There he was, my always knight in shining armor, Charles. His face was red and tears were in his eyes when he finally got to me. He knelt down in front of me, searching my eyes, "Really?" Was all he got out and I just nodded my head.

"I. Can't." I looked away, biting my lip, cutting deeper into the already existing gash.

"Does she know?" He said, his voice breaking.

I shook my head, "Becca either."

"Do you want me to?"

"No Charles, I need to be stronger than last time. You did enough."

He nodded, pulling out tissue and cleaning my face, handing me some so I could blow my nose.

"This can't be real." I shook my head.

He ran his fingers along my cheek, and I reached up and held his hand.

"Come on. I won't let go. The entire time." He pulled me up to my feet, holding my hand tightly, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes.

When we entered, Becca took one look at our faces and whispered, "I knew it." She cried as I explained everything in Charles' arms and I leaned on his shoulder.

When my mom woke up, Becca surprised me when she took over my failed attempt at telling my mom. My mom didn't cry, just simply nodded, saying she was much too tired to feel.

Becca refused to leave my mom's bed for the rest of the night. Charles' refused to let go of my hand even as we fell asleep.

Harry called me on the way to the airport and before he got on his flight. Promising to have his phone on him or his assistant at all times, he promised he would be on the first flight out the moment I asked.

The next morning, the first tabloid pictures of Olivia and Harry were everywhere. On the tv, on every social media platform, I couldn't get away even with my efforts. It hurt, but the pain of my mom overshadowed everything.

My mom was chipper today. She looked better than the day before, but I had to keep reminding myself to not get my hopes up. Which felt so morbid, the idea of not having hope in a loved one surviving, but even my mom had always told me to expect the worse so it hurt less.

Harry had been able to respond to me here and there, but phone calls seemed to be impossible. Either he didn't have the service, or there wasn't any time. He kept apologizing for the pictures, and I kept reminding him I was prepared for this.

The next day was a complete 180 for my mom. Her cough was so bad she couldn't breath and an infection had started in her lungs that they couldn't control. She was on oxygen for most of the day until they had to put her on a ventilator.

I called Harry multiple times, but every time I got his voicemail. My texts left unanswered.

"Baby, it's really bad. Come home, please. I don't think she has much longer."

M: Harry, are you okay? Why haven't you responded to me all day?

"Harry, please call me. I'm worried. And, I just, call me."

M: Harry, I don't remember what time everything's for you today. Or what time it is there. Please call me.

M: Harry, wtf.

M: She's gone.

I turned my phone off after that last text. It was five in the morning of the next day when my mom passed away. I felt nothing. I hadn't moved from my chair in her hospital room after kissing her goodbye. I don't know how I signed everything I needed to. I don't even remember when the hospital room turned into my mom's living room, all I knew was, she wasn't here anymore.

At some point Anita was there with me, her and Becca helped me shower and tucked me into bed. I listened as Becca explained to Anita that the doctor said I was in shock, and I had to ride the wave. I heard Anita's frustration as she asked Becca if she had seen the latest photos of Harry and Olivia. Becca said yes, and that she couldn't believe he hadn't reached out, and that's what he was doing.

When they walked out of my room, I managed to sit up in my bed and turn on my phone which was charging on my bedside. I signed back into my Twitter account and simply typed "h" into the search bars when "#holivia" appeared. One click was all it took to destroy me. One click was all it took for me to see the picture of Harry and Olivia kissing outside a club, in the alleyway, and as they got into a car.

I threw my phone across the room screaming. And it was all just black from there.