Secret Son / Bang Chan

Part 3

I avoided school like the plague for the next couple of days: I think my hope was that if I didn't go that he would just go away but I knew that was illogical so after three days I finally went back. I went in early that morning to work on catching up on assignments that I had missed, it wasn't a lot of work but it was a fair amount. I was so focused I didn't even notice that someone had sat down beside me.

"I wasn't sure you were gonna back." Chris's voice started me and caused me to jump in my seat a little bit.
"How've you been Y/N?"
I didn't meat his eyes, the eyes he shares with my son.
"I thought you were in Australia." Was the only thing I could think to say. He let out a slightly amused sigh/giggle combination at my answer.

"I was but I took a job in Seoul recently and decided to finish school here."
"Oh." I didn't know what else to say to him! What are you supposed to say to your ex-boyfriend that's the father of your child but has no idea he's the father of your child? I think he could tell that I was uncomfortable with this awkward attempt at small talk because he didn't say anything after that and let me work on my assignment.

Students quickly filled up the room and it wasn't long before the class started and I had something to focus on that wasn't the fact that Chris was sitting right next to me.

"Momma can we go to park!" Grey begged during breakfast on Saturday. It was the only day I didn't have work or school and that I could get some housework done, but of course I wasn't going to deny my son. So after breakfast I got him dressed and I took him to the park. We had an overall nice day: Grey played with some of the other kid's on the playground and made friends with a little girl named Hana, we packed a picnic lunch and he really enjoyed it, and we ended our little outing by getting ice cream from Grey's favorite ice cream cart (the old man running it always gave Grey a ballon).

"Momma I'm sticky!" Grey giggled after finishing off the ice cream. I looked at him and he was covered in chocolate and caramel. I fished around in my bag for the emergency baby wipes I carry around for this purpose.

"Hold still baby," I wiped the sticky mess from around his mouth and on his cheeks while he giggled and squirmed the entire time. I moved on to try and wipe his littler hands but while I was doing so he accidentally let go of his ballon.

"My ballon!" Grey jumped up and started to chase after it but his little toddler legs couldn't keep up with the speed of the wind blowing it away from him. He tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and the ballon floated farther away from him as he began to cry.

"MOMMA!" The toddler wailed and my heart ached for him as I picked him up off the ground. I tried to reassure him as we walked through the park but he couldn't calm down and kept crying over the loss of his ballon.
"Bubs I'm sorry. Momma's gonna get you-"
"Excuse me, does this belong to you?"
I turned around and Chan was holding the ballon that Grey had lost a few minutes prior.

"MY BALLOON!" Grey made grabby hands at the ballon in Chan's hand. Chan let out a soft chuckle and handed the ballon back to Grey.
"Here you go lil guy!"
Grey broke into a huge smiled and his eyes twinkled with joy.
"Thank you Mister, momma say thank you!"
I was freaking out on the inside. How long was it going to be before he said something?
"Thanks..."

"No problem Y/N." Chan smiled. Grey gasped and looked at me shocked.
"Momma, he knows you!" He not so quietly whispered and again made Chan laugh. I sighed uncomfortably at the situation and shuffled in place. Chan was looking at Grey and I could see he was trying to put together the pieces.

"Well we have to go, thanks again." I rushed away with Grey in my arms before Chan got the chance to even question why the little boy that called me "momma" looks exactly like him.
"Momma, was the nice man your friend?" Grey asked once we got back to the house. He had been full of questions since we had left the park.

"Mommaaaa." Grey whined at my lack of response. I let out a long sigh and put him in his high chair for dinner.
"Yes Grey he was my friend." I finally gave the three year old an answer that he might be satisfied with.
"I like him, he's nice." Grey smiled and tried to pickup a spoon full of mashed potato and put it into his mouth. We ate the rest of our dinner and Grey kept making comments about the food, either about it being yummy or asking why we're having a vegetable (carrots) when he wants something 'yummy'.

Before long it was Grey's bath time and then it was time for bed. The whole night he was asking questions: how did I know Chan, did Chan know who he was, would we see Chan again? I didn't know how to answer any of them so I kept evading them. After Grey was asleep I called Felix and told him everything that had happened that.

"And he didn't say anything?" Felix asked for what felt like the millionth time. We had gone through the story at least 4 times now but Felix was still stuck on the fact that Chan didn't say anything about Grey.
"Not a single word! Just gave Grey the ballon back and didn't even question who he was and why he look's exactly like him!"
Felix was silent on the other end for what feels like an eternity before he finally spoke up again.

"So let me get to straight; you didn't want to tell him that you were pregnant three years ago, you didn't tell him he has a son after he was born, but now you're getting upset that he didn't immediately recognize that Grey is his kid?" I confusion in Felix's voice matched the mix of emotions that were swimming around in my head. I should of been relieved that Chan didn't immediately start asking questions, but I all I felt was heartache.

"I don't know Felix," I rubbed my temple in frustration, "sometimes I'm fine with it just being Grey and me, but sometimes I wish that he would of been there. It would of been nice to have seen him or someone sitting there smiling when Grey took his first steps or said his first words."

"Yeah it might have been nice." Felix grumbled under his breath and I immediately felt guilty for how he had taken my words.
"Look Y/N, it's late and I've got work in the morning I have to go."
Felix didn't even wait for me to say anything before he hung up. I immediately regretted what I had said to him, I knew that I had someone there but it wasn't in the way that I had wished.

I sat in the silence of my bedroom staring up at the ceiling and contemplating the life decisions that had led me to this moment.

"YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TOLD ME CHRISTOPHER!" Tears poured down my face as I screamed at my boyfriend. Chan was also in tears over the argument that had been going on for over an hour. The summer was almost over and our plans for the fall were supposed to be beginning, until he told me that they were never going to happen.

"I wanted to Y/N really I did....I just didn't know how." Chan tried to put his hand on my thigh but I slapped it away.
"Don't FUCKING touch me! You told me that we would go to college together! Spend the rest of our lives together! you LIED to me!" I sobbed. Chan pulled me into his embrace and whispered "I'm sorry" over and over again as I hit his chest repeatedly.
"Please don't go Channie please!"
"I'm sorry baby I'm so sorry."

That was our final night together. The next morning he would leave for Australia, leaving behind all of the plans we had made together and the life we I had fantasied about so many times. I woke up that morning with his marks all over my body but an empty bed and nothing but a note.
"I had to go, I'm so sorry. - Chan"

I hadn't realized I was almost asleep until the ringing of my phone caused me to awake abruptly. I looked at the caller I.D and saw it was an unknown number. An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach and I hesitated before I picked up the phone and answered.

"Hello?"
"Why didn't you tell me we have a son?"