Secret Son / Bang Chan

Part 23: Finale

Chan looks to me in panic as if he's asking me to decide what we should say. Grey may have been a child but he knew that a gesture such as the one we just shared means something. I pull myself out of Chan's embrace and walk towards Grey, who was looking between Chan and I for an answer.

I guided him towards the couch and we sit, Chan joining us shortly after. I hold Grey's hand in mine and try to mentally prepare myself for the avalanche of questions and emotions that I know he's going to have.

"Grey, do you like that Channie picks you up from daycare?"

He took a moment to think about it but quickly nodded and smiled bright, "I do! But teacher seems surprised to see him. She looks at us funny when I leave with him."

Chan and I look at each other confused. Chan picking Grey up wasn't out of the ordinary and shouldn't of been a problem since I put him as a guardian weeks ago.

"And the other kids ask if he's my dad."

Both of us tense and I know that Grey can feel the shift in our demeanor because he's immediately looking between us. 

"And? What do you tell them?" I ask, looking for any signs that he's uncomfortable with the assumption of his peers, but I don't find any.

"I tell them yes, he's my dad and he's stronger than their dads."

I freeze, exchanging glances with Chan, seeing that their are tears forming in his eyes. 

"Why do you tell them that baby?"

"Because they're annoying! Jaehyun is always saying his dad is big and strong, that he lifts big weights, and buys him toys, and was Superman for Halloween and it makes me mad!"

His bottom lip trembles and his cheeks turn red.

"He says his mommy and daddy take him places every weekend and he said his mommy and daddy are going to give him a little sister, and I said I want a little sister too and he said I can't have one because I don't have a dad. It makes me mad Momma."

I sneak a glance at Chan as Grey wipes his eyes, and I nod, his eyes widen in question and I nod again, as if saying 'yes, really'. Since Chan has been back in my life, naturally, the two of us had talked about everything that's happened over the past three years. About our jobs, our families, our old friends from high school. I know hoped that it would serve us well in making this as painless for Grey as possible. 

I take Grey's hands in mine and try to calm the anxious feeling that grows in the pit of my stomach and pray that my son cannot feel how badly my hands are shaking. Chan looks equally as nervous, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"Grey..." I start softly:

"Do you remember when you asked me where dad was?"

He nods, unsuspecting:

"You said that dad was living far away and wasn't sure when he would be back."

"Yes, I told you that because Dad was working very hard so he could get a good job and make lots of money so that we can live comfortably, but we didn't know how long it was going to take."

I look at Chan quickly, he seemed surprised by my answer but quickly nodded, agreeing that it was a good one. Grey frowns:

"But, Yuna's dad works hard in Japan but he still calls her, and sends her toys, and comes home for her birthday."

Uh-oh.

"Yes, well, Japan in very close, it's easy to visit and doesn't cost as much, Dad was very far away and needed to save money-"