Heartstopper stories

You hate him, right? (part 4, kinda)

Hi everyone! I know, I'm supposed to be on a break, and I am! But, since this book has reached 2k reads (like holy fuck, how???), I wanted to do one more part of this story that's centered around Nick's pov. This won't have any content warnings, cause it will just be a lot of fluff. It's also very cheesy, but I hope you guys will like it.

But before I start, and I know I've said this in every chapter, I want to say a big thank you to everyone that has read this book. Your support and love for the stories have given me the motivation I needed to continue. I'm not coming back yet, but I know I will eventually because of you guys. 

Without further a do. Here is the story in Nick's pov!

I've had a crush on Charlie ever since I saw him on the school field with his friends a few years ago. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew it wasn't just 'normal liking'. I wanted to hold his hand, put my arm around him, and kiss him. I wanted him to be mine. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of good friends. Most of my friends, especially Harry, are very homophobic. And I, being an idiot, just followed him because I was scared of not fitting in. 

I know now that that's stupid. I shouldn't care what everyone thinks of me. If anyone has a problem with me being queer then they aren't real friends. I hate that I'm seeing this so late, but I guess better late than never. 

The first time Charlie ever said a word to me was when he told my friends that you can't catch gay. I was so incredibly proud of him for going off on them like that. I knew that my friends weren't going to like it though. When they left the school building, I saw Charlie hiding in the bushes until they were gone. I smiled at the sight of him. He is so incredibly cute. He apparently forgot something and went back to school to find it. I followed him and saw him playing on a drum set in the music room. 

He can actually play the drums! I was so surprised to see him doing something I didn't know he could do. I thought he was just into reading and hanging out with friends. When he noticed I was standing in the hallway, he immediately tried to get rid of me, but I wouldn't go away. I might have a chance to actually get to know him. We both got locked up in the form classroom and honestly, it was the best time of my life. Yes, that sounds corny, but it's true. I talked with him for more than a minute. We shared something about our personal life. I helped him when he fainted. Then that stupid Jason had to come and rescue us. With just one look at him, I knew Charlie would fall for him, so I knew I had no chance with him. But I also didn't want to give up. 

I went to the playground near our school and texted Charlie if he wanted to hang out with me. 15 minutes later, he showed up. I was so nervous. I knew that if I wouldn't say something about my feelings now, I never would. I gulped and asked him if he wanted to go out with me. It shouldn't be a surprise that he thought it was a joke, but it still hurt. It wasn't a joke and I really like Charlie. If only he could see it. 

That night I just stared up at the ceiling in my room. I thought about what Charlie said a few hours earlier. Maybe I never had a chance with him. He wants someone that isn't scared of what people think of him. Someone that is out and is proud to be. I cried myself to sleep that night. It might sound pathetic, and maybe it was, but it also felt good to let it out. 

The next day I saw Charlie again in the evening at the fair. He was walking to the exit when he bumped into me. I didn't know it was him at first, so I was a little annoyed, but when I saw his beautiful eyes I knew it was him. He looked pale like he hadn't eaten in days. I tried to check up on him, but he just blew me off. Probably should have guessed something like that would happen. 

The more I saw him with Jason, the angrier I got. Why did he like him but not me? Jason is such a weird and sneaky person. I wouldn't be surprised if he just used Charlie to get with someone else. This wasn't true, but I couldn't let the image out of my head. I couldn't let him hurt Charlie like that. I needed him to know that I wasn't playing games and that I really liked him. I would love to be in a relationship with him, even though I still need to figure out what my sexuality is. I found Charlie on the swings on the playground where I confessed my feelings for him. We told each other about some memories of the playground before I confessed again. Charlie says we need to take it slow. That he doesn't want to start a relationship before getting to know me. I get where he's coming from and I will respect his wishes. 

But I think I'm in love with him, and I want him to be mine.