SKZ ONESHOTS

JEONGLIX

Includes :
Angst (here we go again)
Mentions of Sex
Cheating

No matter how hard he tried to focus his attention somewhere else, his mind went back to the day before. His skin feeling painfully sensitive yet annoying, as if it was suddenly too tight. He didn't feel comfortable or relaxed in his skin anymore. His mind felt foreign to himself, betraying his begging to the images and sounds he so desperately wanted to ignore.

That's what he deserved right? He didn't feel sick enough to go home early so maybe that was why he was in this pain?

God the images where awful let alone the sounds that wouldn't stop echoing in his mind, the soft I love you, the begging, the kissing, the sound of skin on skin that made him throw up. The sight of Jeongin, his protector, his lover, his everything... sleeping with another. Someone younger, of course because he was older now, he wasn't as slim, he wasn't as bright and bubbly. This whole time he's been nervous about their age gap, even if barely four years it was still four years.

He felt ugly, old, rotting in this tight annoying flesh around him with the sound that wouldn't stop filling his ears.

Maybe he didn't give him enough? Jeongin always wanted Felix to try going to the gym with him, was the guise of being a couple thing simply an excuse that he didn't want to tell Felix he was disgusting?

He didn't know because as soon as he saw it, as soon as he heard it— he left. He had never been a fighter, he'd never been one to confront. God fucking sake his nickname was sunshine! The bubbly guy that everyone came to... who did he have now?

"Felix please pay attention, we need to get these right and all you've done today is zone out" Chan stated, his own voice low and the younger knew it wasn't meant in a bad way but the tears that fell just made it all the harder to keep up his sunshine facade. "Felix? What's wrong?" Chan got up quickly, grabbing a box of tissues as he sat close to his young friend.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I just can't deal with work at the moment" Felix tried stopping his tears, wiping them away hastily as he stood up. "I need some time, I'm sorry I'll be back soon" he told him quietly as he rushed out the room, down the office walkways, trying his best to act normal despite the gushing tears and his puffy red face. God he knew he looked awful, maybe Jeongin hated how sensitive Felix was.

There was too many things, and that just made the self loathing worse, had he always been this pathetic? When they had met, he instantly crushed hard on the younger, and Jeongin seemed to be the same. But it's barely been two years... was Felix truly that insufferable?

Felix rushed down to the parking lot before hopping into his car and locking it. He knew Jeongin was probably with that man again today, were they just fucking or did Jeongin love him too? "Did he even love me?" God his words hurt more when he said them aloud.

Confront them.

"Why? What if he tells me he finds me disgusting and leaves me for them?"

Hit him.

"He's stronger, he'd be able to stop me"

Confront them.

"Why?! WHY SHOULD I? Huh? Please they don't need me, Jeongin never did. He's young and has everything, I was just some... hobby" Felix croaked out, the tears falling harder at the realisation. "Hobby? Was that really it? I gave Jeongin all of my best efforts, I tried so hard to make him happy... where did I go wrong?" He asked himself.

You're easy.

"And you're mean" Felix bit back, pressing his face against the steering wheel as he tried his best to collect himself, wiping his face as he tried his best smile. "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm ha—happy" he sniffled, he had to be a good team member and finish his work, Felix was nice, he was always nice. For now... his issues can wait.