Lauren Sanders has been left to start a 'new' normal life with her aunt and cousin after her family died. Everybody knows almost everything except for two things: Lauren's parents' mysterious death and her schizophrenia.
Lauren goes out on a mission...
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I wonder if there was ever a space reserved for me in between. Maybe I was destined to live longer so they could live a better life, somewhere, without me, too.
I could still hear the mourners crying and sniffling, while some were either speaking in low voices or whispering prayers to themselves. Every time I visited; it was like the memories of the past kept haunting me—constantly replaying inside my head to remind me of what it used to feel like. How fresh the scars were, and how close to death I felt as I was tortured by the excruciating anguish of being unable to cry like a normal person would because I had been deprived of my emotions.
I sweep the leaves, and the Sunday morning silence is broken by the sound of dead flowers being removed. I set some new flowers in their place as I stared at their stones.
In Loving Memory of
Jackson David Sanders
On Earth, You Toiled, In Heaven You Rest.
In God's Care
Elise Juliet Sanders
Wherever We Go, Whatever We Do, Memories Keep Us Near To You.
In Loving Memory of
Coralina Sanders
In Our Hearts, Your Memory Lingers. Sweetly Tender, Fond, and True.
I don't know what brought me here and it never feels calming. I'm not sure if the air's metallic stone taste, the scent of recently cut grass and the flowers placed on the graves next to them, or perhaps the strange feeling of exclusion I get when I look down at them are what suffocates me.
I wonder if the dead gets jealous of the living because I get jealous of the dead. There are people who remember them because they're dead. Is it necessary to be dead just to be remembered?
"You should get their stones cleaned," I hear Savannah behind me, speaking. I whirled around, tilting my head, seeing her as she had her arms crossed across her chest. She gives my sister's stone a blank gaze as her eyes squinted.
I know they've been good friends but I don't know their history together. None of them ever talked about each other when they were with me, separately. It was like their friendship was a secret thing.
Although, being here feels like heaven isn't far for me to reach. The clouds were like a white ribbon that formed a half spiral against the velvety sky and appeared to be fluttering in the airy breezes that blew my hair away from my face.
