Where It Leads Us

Chapter Twenty-five

They seemed to be in good spirits, the three of them, as I sat across from mom and father, Jonathan beside me, laughing at what father was telling them.

I wasn't paying attention to what kind of conversation they were having. It sounded tedious, and what could be funnier than spilling coffee on the way to work? Isn't it something that happens to adults or most people?

I can't help but roll my eyes at them while they laugh and smile as I sit here sulking and sending them suspicious looks as if these people are the weirdest people I've ever known. One of them, in particular, is indeed the weirdest person I have ever known.

After a short delay, our food was delivered to our table. We used to go here on weekends as a family to eat out. Jonathan was so small when I recall that he had to sit in a baby high chair since he was just a four-year-old baby.

I refrain from making any snarky remarks about my father. I stare at the food on my plate while everyone else seems busy taking bites of their food. I grabbed the glass of water and took a sip as I continue to stare at the food on my plate.

My mother raises her head to look at me, seeing that I wasn't chewing or even touching the food on my plate. "Why aren't you touching your food?" she asks, raising an eyebrow, and her forehead creases.

"You don't like what we ordered?" Father asks, looking at me as he chews on his food as if he is wondering.

I just stared at him, blinking my eyes but not saying anything. He seems to be perplexed. He sets down his knife and fork, cleans his mouth with a white napkin, and lifts his hand.

A waiter approaches our table and then says, "How can I serve you, sir?"

Father asks, "Can I have the menu again, please?"

"Sure," The waiter says as he starts walking away but then immediately comes back in an instant. "What else would they like to order?"

Father tries to hand the menu to me, but all I do is look at it. He raises an eyebrow as he stares at me. He says, "Go ahead and order whatever you want," but I didn't move an inch at all.

"Sir?" The waiter says as he looks at me this time.

I shoved the menu back towards my father and looked at the waiter, "I am sorry, but I'm good."

The waiter nods his head as he smiles. He grabbed the menu and took it with him when he starts walking away from our table.

"You could have just said that earlier," Mom says, "You're making an inconvenience to waiters."

I chuckled bitterly, "Did I even say that I want to order something? Your ex-husband was the one that assumed as if I did."

I could sense Jonathan's elbow, poking the side of my rib. I turn my head to look at him as I slap his arm away.

"And now it's my fault?" I say, crossing my arms to my chest.

I removed the white table napkin from my lap, placing it on the table in front of me before heading out of the restaurant.

It was getting to me, and I couldn't take it any longer. My blood always boils when I'm around my father. I despise how my mother behaves as if all is fine or normal. Jonathan is ecstatic over our father's return, despite the fact that he knows what he did. I despise the fact that I am the only one who is disgusted with what is going on.

Is it possible that I'm the only one here who is sane? Are they insane? Or am I the one who is insane?

I walked over to the car and took the keys from my pocket. I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me from advancing even a fraction of an inch. When I turn around, I see my father gasping for air, his hand on my shoulder.

I swat away his hand as he says, "Go back inside for dinner. I promise I won't say anything else that will make you feel uncomfortable."

Doesn't he get it? What makes me uncomfortable is the fact that he's back here, behaving as though nothing happened, and everyone around him seems to act the same.

Am I dreaming? Someone, please wake me up from this horrible nightmare.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I am not going back there with you. I'm not going back there and pretending as if we're such a perfect family when you're obviously the one who tore it apart. I'm not going anywhere until you're gone for good."

Father sighs, his eyes lit up as he says, "I told you. I'm staying, and I'm never going to leave you again."

I chuckled bitterly, "And your daughter? Your new wife? You're just going to leave them like what you did to us?"

"I never married Jennifer and Katie's not my daughter. Jennifer and I had already decided to call it quit three months ago. The day you saw me with Katie at the mall was our last time together. Before they left for good for Spain, I told Katie that I would take her back to her favorite place at the mall."

"So?" I say, "You want to return to my mom because the woman with whom you cheated on my mom has abandoned you? And now that you're on your own, you've wanted to return home?"

"It's not just that—"

"—I'm not listening to any of your bullshit anymore. You can save it and tell them all this bullshit and have them believe you, but I won't. I will never believe you," I cut him off as I hopped inside the car.

My foot pressed the gas pedal after I put the key into the ignition. I pulled out of the parking lot, my mind clouded by unending thoughts and a swarm of feelings begging to take control of me, but I didn't.

I kept driving, and driving, and driving. A sky of fire appeared with the setting sun, and as the sun went to sleep behind the sloping peak district, each of it looks smaller but tougher than the next ones beside it.

I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know it won't be home.

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