Thoughts of a 7th Grade Girl

Oblivious People

HI! I here!

So basically I suck at updating and shit, but honestly i'm dieing!!!!!

School is almost over and I'm really happy! But, stuffiage is going on with my friends. I don't feel like apart of the group anymore. And the thing I talked about last time ( the whole I love Mitch grassi's hugs and everything) is somewhat realated to it.

I love writing, but now I use it for venting. I works along with some PTX blasting in my ear. Maybe some fifth harmony. the usual.

So back to school, were reading he outsiders right now.

for peeps who don't know what book that is, it's about gangs in the 1950's. Its pretty cool. But theres the main character named Ponyboy and he has 2 bro's and shit.

his favorite brother is named Sodapop. Pony loves Soda. Every fucking person loves Soda. He's litteraly honey. And then there's Ponyboy's oldest bro named Darry. Darry is basically the responsible person in the family and he has to work two jobs because there parents died in a car accident. Soda also has a job at the gas station. So with Darry, everyone thinks that he's very hardworking, bu that made him cold. He wont do anything but work and that's what everyone see's. he cold because of this and he only works basically, but this is where I'm leadin this story...

My friends love to roleplay, so basically they wanted too see who was who in the book. They decided that I was probally the most serious out of them, so there calling me Darry. ( sorry about the spoiler) So in chapter 3, darry bitch-slaps Pony for coming home at 2 am in the morning.

I know this shouldn't be bothering me but.... IT IS!!!!

This isn't me!!!!!! I would never!!!! But, that made me think, is this who my friends precieve me as!?!? I am not a fucking darry.

They do the roleplaying thing with other things like anime and homestuck.

It's fucking annoying me, because....

1. Im portrayed as the villain

2. My friends are dissing themselves out about being the bubble and loveable charactors. Sure I love them, but not everyone see's them like this

3. They make being responsible be a bad thing.

why can't I just be myself for fucks sake!!!! MY NAME IS I AND I AM ME!!! I'm not  a different character in some fucking book or in a fandom. I'll play the part, bu the things you say to me like, " THATS SO YOU!" and shit like that is fucking annoying. Me being slapped in the face.

 I know you don't mean to, but I tried telling one of my friends about it and they would fucking stop saying I was EXACTLY like him. I don't want to be some fucking character! IM ME!

I love them to death honestly, but sometimes I wish there was another me so I could just hang with myself and not look like a fucking loner. This sucks. I don't think this is what I should be feeling around my friends. honestly. Those mother fuckers...

My friends say that they are exactly like this character who is child abused, whipped, and yelled at. No. No your fucking not. Are you tryin to get sympathy from me? Chicka, that's some bull shit right there.

You have a FAMILY! they aren't divorced. They aren't hitting you. they are rough on you with grades, but honestly... How much more of an attention hog could you be! If you want me to hug you like I would hug myself, come over when your done wallowing in your own depression your making.

Feeling things just make everything hard. Sure you should talk about your problems sometimes, but you shouldn't try to act like you need all of the sympathy.

there is nothing more than I hate than people acting like victims.

If your a victim, you don't have to be. it does depend in the situation, but you control your story. I wished everyone knew that.

I guess i'm just good for writing because I only have one person listening to my words as I rant like this is my best friend.

Anyway.... well then...

This chapterly hastag is...

#YourWorthIt

#LearnToLoveU