How To Play the Player (COMPLETED)

All I Hear Is No

There was just something so horrifyingly familiar about rushing into the hospital waiting room and seeing the look of dread and devastation on my mother's face. She was sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs, her cheeks flushed and tear stained as casted a sad look down at the shell of Liam on the ground beside her. He was back against the wall, his legs pulled up against his chest and arms crossed over them, his head was turned in her direction, but he made no attempt to try and speak.

"Mom." I said as I approached. She nearly jumped from the seat and made her way to me, wrapping me in her familiar, warm embrace.

"He was okay for the first couple hours but I think reality struck about an hour ago and he's been like this since. He told me not to call you, but he really needs you right now, sweetheart."

I didn't say anything, but squeezed my mother's shoulder and walked to sit by Liam against the wall, close enough for him to hear me but not so much so that he was uncomfortable.

Then, with tears in my own eyes, I said, "When my sister, Raya, died, I couldn't breathe. Every night, for two months straight, I wandered back to the scene of the accident and just stood in the middle of the street. Where her body had laid still in a pool of her own blood. She had gone out that windshield because she forgot to put her seatbelt on. She forgot to put her seatbelt on because she was in such a rush to get me back home. She died because of me."

The look Liam gave me when he lifted his head was very much a how-is-this-supposed-to-comfort-me look.

I looked down at my hands and continued. "What happened to your family wasn't your fault, Liam. You were driving, sure, but the same thing could have happened if it had been your mother or father behind that wheel. Your parents, your brothers and sister, they wouldn't want you carrying this guilt, this self-hatred around, my own mother could vouch for that. Liam, what happened was an accident."

His blue eyes were glassy with tears, bottom lip bitten raw, and his entire body was trembling; he appeared as if he were on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"You don't understand, Reese. I have nobody now. Annie was all I had left. And now she's. . . she's gone." His voice caught in his throat and seconds later a sob broke passed and he buried his face back against his arms.

Sliding closer, I moved so I was directly in front of him and touched my hands to his cheeks until he lifted his head and met my eyes. "You have me, Liam."

*

Mom invited Liam to stay with us. I wasn't sure if it was a one night thing or for an extended period of time, but didn't ask either. After finishing her shift, she helped me get Liam to his feet and to the car. But the second we got home, he sat on the sofa in the living room and stared blankly ahead, the same thing my mother had done the week following his parents death.

Even after trying to offer him all that I could, he just remained unphased, an emotionless statue on my couch. I finally started to get the hint and stopped trying entirely around three, leaving a glass of water on the coffee table and setting up pillows behind him on the couch and leaving a couple blankets on the arm of it before turning around to head to my room. I immediately felt his fingers lock around my wrist, and for the first time in over two hours, his voice hoarse, he said, "Stay."

I looked to the stairs then back at him before nodding and sitting on the couch beside him. "I don't think my mom would care if you wanted to come sleep in an actual bed."

"You're inviting me to sleep with you." It almost sounded like one of his old innuendoes, but there was no hint of any sort of amusement in his eyes.