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Aemon had waited in that abandoned room for Alicent to arrive. They had been meeting there, away from the eyes of court. She was late and he worried she wouldn't come. He was ready to give up when she arrived. Gods, he thought, she looks beautiful. Her hair was pinned up and the dress she wore looked perfect on her. She carried a large book which she held as if it were the most precious item she had ever held.
"Hi..." He said softly, he didn't really know what to see. He didn't want to remark that she was late as she already seem dejected.
"Hello," Her soft voice met his ears like music as she shut the door. He smiled at her softly as she sat on the floor with him. He had taken the time to clean up all of the things he'd broken some days before so the room wasn't a hazard.
"What's that?" He motioned to the large book in her lap.
"Um..." She paused for a second as she looked down and ran her hands over the cover. "It's a book about the histories of Westeros."
"Ahh, my cousin would enjoy that," Aemon said lightly with a small chuckle.
Alicent stayed her heaviness, "Yes..." She trailed, "I suppose he would."
There was a moment of silence as Aemon decided to reach forward. He took Alicent's hand from the cover of the book as he scooted himself closer to her, their knees practically touching. "How was your meeting with your father?"
"I do not wish to speak of my father." She said quickly and harshly. Aemon nodded, silence enveloping them again, but he still held her hand. "I'm sorry, I should be asking how you feel."
"Honestly, I do not wish to talk about that. I think I've been feeling all day. I'm honestly sick of feeling." He laughed a bit as his gaze focused on her hand. His thumb caressed the back of it, he smiled slightly.
She seemed to notice though, "Why are you smiling?"
"Your hand is soft."
"Is it?"
"Yes, you have lovely hands." He cursed himself internally as the line fell from his mouth. He sounded stupid but as he looked at Alicent, she wasn't laughing and making fun of him. She merely smiled.
"Thank you." Her voice remained as quiet as a mouse and he dared not mention that he'd noticed the dried blood around the tips of her fingers. He'd seen her bite her fingers and it broke his heart that it had become how she coped with her worry.
"Are you okay?" He asked, trying to find her eyes as she looked at the aging book in her lap.
She nodded before swallowing, "I'm just scared..." Aemon was confused. If she was scared he'd do anything to make her feel safe. She could probably sense his confusion as she rushed out, "For Rhaenyra." Aemon knew there was more to it than that. "She's really struggling with the loss of her mother."
"Are you sure that is what's bothering you?" Aemon held both of her hands gently, "You can tell me."
"Yes," She placed her hand on his face gently as she smiled. Aemon could still see that she was lying but decided against furthering his questioning.
The sat in their silence again, Aemon's thoughts swirling as he tried to figure out something to say. "Aemon..." Alicent interrupted his thoughts. He hummed as he looked up to meet her eyes as she looked at him. Her eyes were soft and kind as she looked into his violet ones. "I..." Aemon had been trying to make out what she was going to say. "I seem to have developed some type of..." He was heavily concerned now. Had she developed some type of illness! His thoughts were not helping. "I know that sometimes, my duty to my family requires me to make some sacrifices." Now he was really confused. What is she talking about? "It is quite hard to do so sometimes as personal feelings get in the way." She looked back at him from her gaze on the floor.
His face clearly read the confusion, she quickly removed her hands from his as Aemon saw her return to picking at her nails. He took her hands again before meeting her eyes. "What are you saying, Alicent?"
"I'm saying that sometimes..." She paused again, "People can harbor feelings for someone they do not necessarily wish to harbor feelings for." He raised his eyebrows at her vague statement. "Um... the minstrels sing songs of..." She swallowed again and Aemon couldn't understand how minstrels suddenly entered the conversation. "They sing of caring for someone beyond your own will." She looked at him again. Probably hoping that he was understanding her but he was definitely not.
"I'm sorry, I'm really confused."
She took a deep breath, "Some people... believe that having feelings towards someone can be involuntary and I feel that I have developed those feelings for you, Aemon."
He took a second to process her statement. His eyebrows knit together as he tried to put together her sentence. Duty to her family, sacrifices, personal feelings... he was starting to understand her. Minstrels' songs, caring beyond will, feelings toward someone.
Possibly he took too long to process as she pulled away, "I'm sorry, I've overstepped."
"No." Aemon said as he moved his hands to hold her face. "You haven't overstepped." He smiled at her as she released a long-held breath. "Perhaps," He released a breathy laugh, "Someone might reciprocate those feelings in return."
The two looked at each other as they smiled. Aemon's hands still held Alicent's face as she placed her own hands on his forearms. They moved forward as they touched their foreheads met. They closed their eyes as they basked in the moment, just them, together. No duty, honor, or fathers to interrupt.
"It's getting late," Alicent softly spoke.
Aemon nodded with his head still resting on the girl in front of him. They were both desperately trying to control themselves. He didn't want to dishonor her, therefore he wouldn't. She was beautiful and perfect in his eyes and anyone who made her feel less than that would meet his wrath.
Before they could part, Aemon moved forward and placed a soft kiss on Alicent's lips. He thought that her lips were as soft as they appeared and he wished he could only stay in that room forever. As they parted, Alicent smiled at him as he stood. He offered his hand to her as they stood, holding hands as they made their way to the door. Alicent left first as Aemon leaned against the door. Only thinking of her as he daydreamed.
