Will You Pray for Me?

4

Forty days and eight hours.

That's how long Frank's been sober.

And every day he wakes up, he wonders what's the fucking point of it all. He still feels like shit, and no matter how hard he tries to get better, he'll never have Ryan back.

So why bother?

In a couple days, they'll take off the cast, and he'll be back to normal. But what for?

His life still sucks.

'Hey, man,' Ray greets him when he walks in the café that morning. 'Everything okay?'

Frank just rubs his face with both hands, trying to hide the baggy eyes from crying all night. 'Yeah, sure. Just tired.' He walks to the back to get an apron, and gets to work.

'Dude – you haven't got a day off so far. Are you sure you don't want to go home for the day?'

Frank shakes his head. 'I'm good. It's not like I have anything to do, and it keeps my mind off. Plus, you kinda need me.'

'We'll be okay. I'll call someone to cover for you.'

'I'm good, really,' Frank yelled back. He knows they don't really know each other that well, but
Ray being so concerned about his wellbeing, is nice. Either way, it's not like he can do much one-handed. He can barely stack up cups and serve coffee without making a mess, so he sticks to that for now. He takes orders, and manages not to yell at the customers or have any breakdowns. So that's something.

At the end of the day, he's counting his register, while Ray cleans up the trays in the bakery, and Jamia does the lobby. 'So –' Ray starts, in the most casual tone ever. 'How do you know Gerard again?'

Frank thinks about it for a second. It's not that he doesn't trust Ray. He really does. But it's not his business to talk about his friend's issues, and for some reason he feels like he's overstepping. 'Uh –' But then realizes that just makes it even weirder. 'AA,' he says, his back facing Ray, and hoping he doesn't judge him. Frank doesn't know why but he doesn't want to disappoint Ray.

'Oh,' Ray says after a moment. Frank thinks he's going to say something else, but he just walks back to the kitchen, and now Frank doesn't know what to think.

He's afraid this will change the way Ray sees him and that he maybe thinks he's a bad influence for his friend, but Frank can't blame him. He just sighs and keeps doing his job. He leaves not long after, and on his way out, he just reminds Ray that he has to leave early the next day. 'I have a doctor's appointment,' he says and points at his broken hand. 'Finally taking this off.'

Ray nods at him. 'Why don't you take the day off?'

'Okay,' Frank says, and walks out.

***

Frank stares at his hand for the longest time, wiggling his fingers, trying to get used to the feeling. It's still a little weak, and it'll take time, but it's an improvement. He missed seeing his tattoos.

'You will need physical therapy to go back to normal,' the doctor says to him. She checks his hand, pressing on different spots, a little too hard. Frank flinches a little but it's not too bad. 'You can do little exercises at home, and don't push yourself too hard. Oh, and make sure you wear a brace for work or any activities that require a lot effort.'