shrek x obama

s3x, drugs & rock n roll (not really)

Donkey banged on Shrek's door, and when it swung open, he gazed up to meet the sexy ogre's intimidatingly hot gaze. Shrek wiped his forehead, a towel slung around his waist. Staring down at the donkey before him, he raised an eyebrow. "I see you're back," he observed, leaning heavily on the doorframe. 

Donkey ducked his head slightly. "Hey, Shrek. I think we should talk about uh.. the last time we saw each other."

Shrek huffed out a breath, almost rolling his eyes. "Listen. I'm not here for chit-chat," he said, lowering his tone as he crouched down to Donkey's height, noticing how his ex's eyes widened nervously. Donkey swallowed, but couldn't look away from Shrek's familiar gaze.

"You know how I roll, sweetheart," Shrek said, almost smirking. "Either you love me, or you don't. So tell me. Do you love me, or not?"

Donkey's heart thudded in his chest. The silence in the air made him more nervous than he already was. He loved Shrek, it was true. But could he love a cheater? A guy who cheated on all ig his unknowing lovers? 

Yes. He could.

He longed to feel the touch of the ogre's strong arms, the sly smirk that always found itself growing on the ogre's lips.

"I do," he barely breathed out. More clearly, he repeated. "I do. I do love you, Shrek."

Shrek smirked. That smirk that Donkey could never forget, never stop dying for. He would do anything just to see him satisfied. 

He felt Shrek's strong arms grab his shoulder, taking him into the house, closing the door behind them. His fingers traced the outline of his chin, bringing his face inches away from his. Their lips met, a soft graceful kiss. As they pulled away, Donkey craved more from the lover he had missed so much of. Shrek's hand ran through Donkey's fluffy, emo haircut, his fingers playing with the strands if hair. Donkey leaned closer, his head resting on his muscular, bare chest. He heard a soft noise of something dropping onto the floorboards, and as Donkey felt for Shrek's waist, he noticed it was the towel that fell. 

His heart pounded. Shrek took Donkey to the couch, holding his lover close, their lips connecting in another kiss. This time, it was rougher, and Donkey knew what he was getting in for. He let himself melt into the kiss, into it Shrek's hold on him. 

-----

Sirens blared through the streets, a gunshot rang through the air. A scream was heard at the same time a car's wheels screeched on the road, speeding off for the life if the driver. 

This was the perfect plan. The Grinch had hired Joe Biden to do his dirty work. And that was? A wonderful scheme into cloning Ed Sheerans to release into the world, as some sort of theme park-zoo combo. A Jurassic Park, if you will. Genetically modified, cloned assets of Ed Sheeran roamed the theme park, to be released upon the unsuspecting world from a minor screw-up in the security systems. The plan was for the Ed Sheerans to wreak havoc onto the modern world, and for Donkey to fall back in love with Ed Sheeran and try to stop the clones. Then Grinch could have Shrek all to himself.

Biden grinned as the electric fences shut down, one by one. And eventually, the gates were broken by the swarming mob of Ed Sheerans. One snarled and ran at the nearest pedestrian, tossing them into its mouth and chewing. A second clone which was the biggest one, ran into the streets, smashing its body into buildings and tossing around cars in its wake.

Chaos was unleashed in the peaceful city, and it was only beginning.

Grinch knew what he wanted. And he was going to get it. If he wanted Shrek to be his, he would get it. 

-----

Obama watched with horror at the madness outside his window. Ed Sheerans running all over the streets, shrieking and snarling and breaking everything. It was a disaster. He held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. He knew what was happening. He had overheard a part of the conversation between Joe Biden and The Grinch, but he didn't believe it to be true. It seemed impossible. 

But it was now possible, and it was very much happening. He had to stop this madness. The first thing to do was find Shrek, Donkey, and Ed Sheeran (as in the real one), and put an end to this madness. Shrek had many lovers, but Grinch would never be one of them. Getting up from his couch, he opened the door to his cabinet, grabbing a tranquilizer gun, loaded it, and stepped outside.