The Sarcastic Sparrow

The Founder

You guys are walking up a long staircase listening to Five rant as he has his head in the book trying to scan for answers but finding none at each passing second his anger rises which wants to make you burst out laughing but you're biting your bottom lip to prevent that

"This is just like a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. There's no clear directives in here about crisis management" Five rants on closing the book angrily. He turns back to you and Lila
"You know, Y/n, Lila, I shouldn't even be here. I was...I was out. I was done, and yet here I am, swept back into the chaos. Why can't I just escape this hellhole" Five whines on scratching the back of his neck. Your face begins to sweat up a lot and your body starts to feel itchy and uncomfortable

"Because you love it" Lila responds rolling her eyes fed up of listening to Fives rant as you continue to itch every inch of your body as your body starts to sweat violently. Five lets out a flatulence causing you and Lila to stop and look at him. Five also stops and turns back to you both with an unamused expression

"My bad" Five whispers out throwing his hands in the air. You didn't want to say anything but his reaction to the situation wanted to make you laugh. You guys then continue walking

"Face it, Five, apocalypse problems are the only things that get your heart pumping...well apart from Y/n" Lila says throwing her head back while walking then pointing to you with a smirk

"Historical" You mumble as you scratch your neck violently probably leaving marks from how aggressively you're scratching

"I don't know why people keep saying that. I don't actually like chaos. I don't want disorder. I...I want retirement" Five explains scratching his neck also. Lila lets out a laugh as you look at her confused

"Yeah, right. What? A normal life of groceries and taxes? You would die of boredom" Lila laughs at Fives idea

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly cut out for domestic bliss either" Five says opening the door for you and himself. He allows you to walk in first as he eyes the scratch marks on your neck. Lila stops for a bit before joining us again

"Course i'm bloody not. Thank god!" Lila says with an annoyed tone
"I mean, maybe it's a tone thing? I don't know, but you could really work on, like, the way you speak. It's very...irritating. I'm just saying it's something you can work on, you know? For your future wife Y/n" Lila insults Five as we walk deeper into the commission you closing your eyes trying to distract yourself from the discomfort your body is feeling. You bump into Five as he has come to a random stop and stumble back. Five lets out a sigh as you open your eyes to see him with a sly smile

"Why the smug smile?" You question scratching your arms

"Why you smiling, you little pisspot" Lila insults while questioning Five

"Cause of that" Five points out a door with a sign saying operations bunker. Lila and you both smile and you walk up to the door along with Five and Lila

"Well, you could of led with that" Lila states jogging in front of you. She opens the door for you and you go in instantly sweating a lot more then you just was. Lila tries to shut the door on Five but his foot stops it and he rolls his eyes at her while stepping inside also now sweating like you both have just ran across the entire world. Five opens another door and was about to step in but Lila pushes in front
"Exsqueeze me" Lila says in a mocking voice