let them boys be

(behind closed doors)

Summary: Zach learns to always knock before entering.

Themes/Tags: trans male character. coming out. accidental nudity?? established relationship.

Notes: guess where i was when this idea struck me? that's right, in the shower. please don't hesitate to shoot me a message if something strikes you funny (in a good way or a bad way...) and hurrah, misleading titles.

(behind closed doors) -  

He really shouldn't have chugged that bottle of water in one go.

Unfortunately, Zach isn't exactly the brightest lightbulb in the box, which is why he's currently hopping on his feet in front of the closed bathroom door, debating with himself.

 We're not that far in our relationship yet. But I really need to pee. But what if he minds? But what if I can't hold it in? What if he thought I was a pervert? But we're both guys. I shouldn't—- But my bladder's going to explode—— Ugh, stupid one-bath apartment!

Steeling himself and hoping that he can make it to the toilet before his bladder gives up, Zach knocks three times on the door, managing a quick, "Avery, this is an emergency," before opening the door and heading straight to the toilet.

He's so busy sighing in relief he doesn't realize the obnoxiously loud shower-head's been shut off, and the shower curtain being pulled back. He's washing his hands when he hears a startled squeak, and he glances up in the mirror to find Avery staring at him, dripping wet and wearing nothing but a horrified expression on his face.

Reflexively, he's going, "Sorry, guess you didn't hear me but I really needed to—-" before he cuts himself off because his eyes have trailed down and his brain is just not computing what is in his visual field. He doesn't get time to comprehend the new information though, because the next second the curtain's slammed back into place and Avery is screaming at him.

"Get out, GET OUT, GET OUT!"

"S-Sorry—-!" Zach obeys the frantic command, shoving himself out the door and barely avoiding a forceful embrace with the door frame, shutting the door behind him and then somehow stumbling back to the living area, falling onto the couch in a shell-shocked heap.

It takes him a couple seconds to calm the whirl of confused thoughts flashing through his head, and to slow down the replaying of what he just saw in his mind—- maybe he got confused in the panic, because it is quite a shock to accidentally walk in on your boyfriend, even if you've been dating for three months, but your friends call you the "stupid couple" because you're both so blushy and shy around each other, but there's nothing wrong with that, and there's definitely nothing wrong with that, right, that is, that Avery has, or he hasn't, or his chest is, he's actually, no, you shouldn't assume anything—— Zach takes a couple deep breaths, and counts backwards from thirty with his eyes closed.

When he finally deems himself calm enough to be rational again, he exhales slowly. Avery's still inside the bathroom, and Zach winces because he realizes what he just did now was very rude, terribly traumatizing, and half of him wants to go back in there to apologize profusely but the logical side of him knows that if he did that Avery would never ever speak to him again. He should've just went over to his neighbour's or something, it's not like Avery's particular rules of privacy was news to him. Looking back on it now, Zach pieces together all the times Avery's behaviour struck him as slightly strange, and smacks himself because he understands now. Sort of. The PE classes and changing in the stalls, the reluctance to join a sports team, the dark and baggy clothes even in the summer... Still, even though Zach is absentminded and scatterbrained and pretty oblivious half the time, he knows it is not his place to make any assumptions, that it is completely up to Avery to tell him.

Though it's all out the window now, as he just accidentally walked in on his boyfriend and forced his secret out before he was ready to tell him.

And Zach trusts that Avery would have told him when he was ready. Now, he can only hope that Avery will still remain his boyfriend and not hate him forever even though that's probably the least he deserves for walking in on him in the freaking shower——

"Zach?"

Zach glances up from pulling out his hair in frustration to see Avery standing in front of him, wearing a borrowed shirt of his. He manages to keep his eyes on his boyfriend's face instead of trailing away, which is the right choice because Avery looks a bit relieved and inches slightly closer, settling down on the couch next to him.

There's a beat of silence as they both stare at the tv in front of them awkwardly.

"Sorry, I—-"

"I guess I—-"

They look at each other, and then laugh, albeit a bit nervously. Zach coughs. He turns to face Avery, serious and remorseful. "Listen, Avery, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't thinking, and I understand if you really want to hit me or something, because I totally deserve it, and—-"

Avery shakes his head. "It's okay. Well, it was definitely a bit of a shock and I think my heart's still pounding, but—-" He rubs his hair, which is still wet from the shower. "I mean, I guess... I was going to tell you, but this... this wasn't exactly what I had in mind for coming out."

Zach bites his lip. "You don't have to do it now if you're not ready. I'll just—-uh, pretend it didn't happen, like, I'll erase it from my mind or something, just—-"

"Zach." Avery gives him a look, and Zach shuts up, smiling sheepishly. "It's okay. I was planning on telling you soon, anyway. I guess I was just hesitating because I was so used to it, you know?" Avery shrugs, and then takes a deep breath. He looks back up and holds Zach's gaze, his expression determined and clear and just a bit nervous.

"I was born a girl. Biologically. But it always felt strange to me. Like I wasn't a girl... on the inside. When I started middle school, the, uh, the gender dysphoria, it really started to hit, so I... told my parents. And they helped me. So I started transitioning, and I got new clothes, and I'm..." Avery closes his eyes briefly, his lips pressing closed for a moment. "I'm transgender, Zach. I... am a boy, and I've wanted to tell you this since forever ago, and I'm so glad to be able to tell you now, even if you won't look at me the same way, but I've been, I'm—- I love being your boyfriend, Zach, and I don't want that to change, but I understand if things do change——"

"Avery, Avery." Zach reaches out tentatively to take the other boy's hand. "It's not going to change anything. You're still the Avery I know, still my best friend, still the boy I fell in love with, okay?" Realizing what he's just said, Zach blushes, but he stubbornly refuses to glance away from Avery's eyes. "Thank you so much for telling me."

Avery stares at him for a couple moments more. Then his eyes start to fill up with tears, and Zach releases his hand, panicking, before Avery shakes his head. He wipes away his tears, grabbing onto Zach's hand again. "Thank you. I just... god, I was so scared for so long, for the dumbest reasons, because I knew you wouldn't care, you're just... amazing, but I still couldn't——"

"Hey, now," Zach pulls him closer, kissing his forehead. "There's nothing wrong with that. Your feelings are valid, yeah?" He smiles at his boyfriend. "And to be honest, even if you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have noticed. I'm just that dumb, I guess." He rubs Avery's slowly drying hair. "It's a part of who you are, okay, I get that."

Avery nods against him. "I wasn't exactly trying to hide it, you know. I was even subconsciously dropping hints since last month." He peeks up at his boyfriend, watching his reaction.

"You were?"

Avery laughs, leaning forwards to brush his lips against Zach's. "Why else would I have left the door unlocked?"

"Man, I'm really sorry for that, okay? I can't believe I did that, I still think you should hit me or somethi——oomph."

Avery pulls his fist back, grinning widely. "Does that satisfy your guilt tripping?" He falls back against Zach, burying his face into the other boy's chest. "I'm glad that's over with."

"Me, too."

"Though, we might need to review the rules again, Zach."

"... I need to knock before I enter, don't I."

"Yes, Zach."