FBI (For Basic Idiots) [FemStiles&Derek]

Snuggle

“Uh-huh.” Lydia nods, clearly only half interested up until the point she pours herself another coffee and asks, “And then what happened?”

“What?” Stiles blinks, because – “What’d you mean, ‘and then what happened??’”

Lydia’s small but clearly excited smile instantly drops as she realises – “That’s it?”

Stiles scoffs, snootily asks, “What’d you mean, ‘that’s it??’”

Lydia sighs, shoots her a withering look. “Are you just gonna keep repeating my questions back to me? ‘Cause if so, I really have to get to work on this stupid Oompa Loompa costume before Allie gets home from school and tears me a new ass hole... again.”

Stiles wrinkles her nose at the imagery – because yes, she was totally present for the birth of her friend’s child (Stiles’ Godchild) and the horrific scene will be forever imprinted into her overactive brain. “I already told you, you pervert. It was literally our first date.” She tells the red head, like that should clear things up – clearly, Stiles forgets how well she knows Lydia sometimes, because of course her inquiries don’t stop there.

Lydia scoffs at that. “You’ve known Derek for over a decade now. And you had sex with Malia after knowing her for literally a couple of weeks...” She states, clear hinting in her tone.

Stiles shoots her a withering look. “I was 19 years old with Malia...” Her eyes widen as she realises – “And oh, my fucking God, she was 16... and Derek was also 16 when Kate magically whammied him – and I – oh, I’m definitely going to Hell...”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Malia was 17, and you were almost 19.” She states as she sips at her coffee.

Stiles scowls, doesn’t look convinced. “Yeah, but... I work for the law... And so did my dad...”

Lydia rolls her eyes again. “So does Jordan, and he was 23 and I was 18 the first time we slept together. Stop deflecting. You’re not a child molester. You’re not Kate. Now, moving on.” She huffs, ignores her pouting friend, gulps down the rest of her coffee, and then, pouts a little herself as she says, “Please tell me you and Derek at least made out?”

Stiles’ eyes widen as she sputters out, “He was 16!”

“Oh, my God. Last night, idiot. I’m obviously talking about last night.” Lydia lets out an exasperated sigh, though, she also can’t help smirking amusedly.

“Oh...” Stiles mumbles, feels herself flushing for feeling stupid and then over the memories of last night as they come flooding back into her brain.

“Ohhh??” Lydia gently coaxes, mischievous smile slowly growing across her perfectly shaped ruby red lips.

Stiles rolls her eyes, feels herself smiling like a school girl with a crush (which, yeah, she knows and remembers a lot of, only this time, she isn’t pining miserably about it.) “I mean, yeah... we did.”

Lydia scoffs again, looks highly offended by the simplicity of her answer. “That’s it? That’s all I’m gonna get? I always give you all the sordid details of my marital sex life.”

“And I never ask for any of those details.” Stiles counters back.

“Stiiiiileeeess.” Lydia whines, rocking back and forth dramatically on her stool.

Stiles chuckles, grins, rolls her eyes and finally tells her, “There’s literally nothing more to tell. We just talked, and kissed... and snuggled.”