Broken Ties

11 Past Secrets

"Hey Ally." Ben said as I walked in. Dom was ready to signal for him to stop but I smiled brightly which made him rethink
"Hey Benji."
"Just me alone tonight. Jens out with her friends so she's going back to theirs after. Your brother said he might come round though, he left earlier to grab some clothes."
"He's the only one in the apartment right now so it's probably better for him to come here." Ben nodded
"I'm gonna go upstairs okay? You can come up and join me when you're done talking to Ben."
"Okay baby." He leaned in to kiss me and I braced myself for the teasing from Ben. But it didn't come, he simply smiled as dom left the room "Why aren't you laughing?"
"It's cute. He deserves to be in love, you both do." I smiled weakly but dropped it since i felt a little awkward "I know today didn't go too well, but I'm always here for you two."
"I like having you around. Are you staying until Christmas?"
"Yep. And as long as you need after that. Promise." I nodded "I think you should go up to dom. Cmere, give me a hug and I'll see you later." I took him up on his offer and sighed as he hugged me. Not in a passive aggressive way, more so due to the fact I was fully relaxed in his arms. It was only a brief hug but I felt a bit better when I let go "See you later princess. I'll be about the house if you need anything."

I opened the door to the room and saw what dom had been doing. There were fairy lights up on the wall, and the bed had been made with fluffy winter blankets and pillows. He was sat on the bed on his phone but he smiled when he saw me. He set his phone down on the bed and opened his arms out to make grabby hands.
"Hello baby." He said softly as I sat down on his lap "And hello little baby." He cooed, kissing my bump. He looked back up at me and kissed me softly "Missed you."
"Was gone two whole minutes." I teased, Eskimo kissing him and smiling when he beamed at me "I think Ben should be her godfather. If we ever get her christened."
"I'd love that. He's coming with us for Christmas. If you want to go that is?" I nodded
"Of course I would. I'd love to spend time with your family. When do we go,"
"The day before Christmas eve." I nodded
"I'd love to baby boy. All the family together." He blushed at the nickname and I smiled, kissing his cheek then dipping down to press a soft but innocent kiss to his neck. I settled there and he seemed content
"Can I hold you? Right there?" I chuckled, kissing his jaw softly
"Sure baby boy. If you want to."
"I want to. If that's okay." I bit my lip slightly, trying to contain my grin
"You've gone all...how can I describe it?"
"Submissive?" I chuckled
"Kind of. But it's not sexual. You're just being taken care of. It's so sweet." He blushed again "It's okay baby. You can hold me as long as you want. But I'd love to hold you for a change hmm?" He shook his head
"Gonna protect my babies."
"Did the fighting scare you?" He held me tight and didn't say anything "You don't like it when fighting happens do you?"
"No. Like home." I gently kissed his neck again, a few times this round but still nothing more than innocent affection. He ate it up and moved so I could do it too
"You wanna talk about home?" I knew Ben had mentioned about being there for dom. But I never pushed it. Doms family life seemed quite happy on the surface and I knew whatever secrets lurked they'd be hell to uncover. He didn't answer and I was beginning to think he'd zoned out "Baby boy?"
"I wanna tell you."
"Okay. But we can stop at any time yeah? And you don't have to tell me nothing you don't want to." He nodded, completely childlike and I knew this was the release he needed to let it out. He needed to feel safe and protected rather than being the one doing it all. That was what he meant when he said he wanted to be the one who was taken care of
"I know. Wanna tell you though."
"Want me to stay here?" He nodded and squeezed me tighter "That a yes?"
"Then we can cuddle after."
"Whatever you want baby boy." He sighed and relaxed when I brought my hand up to mess with his hair "You ready?"
"Yeah. Just let me take it slow okay?"
"Promise you can take as much time as you need."

I sighed as I looked at his face, his messy eyeliner had made him look like a panda from crying. He did cuddle with me for a bit. But he moved away in his sleep and I didn't want to wake him up just to move him back. I didn't show him how much what he had said hurt me, he didn't need to know about that. He just needed to let it all out and from the way he expressed it it was clear he had been holding onto a lot of that trauma for a while. It made me feel incredibly guilty for throwing our relationship on the rocks because although he never explicitly said, he didn't shy away from saying how grateful he was that Sammy had her family together and a loving one too. I decided it was too much to be alone with my thoughts after a while, taking the opportunity to go downstairs since I heard Ben pottering about in the kitchen. I left the bed and waited for a second, just to see if dom would wake up and need me. But he didn't. He stayed sound asleep on his side of the bed and I could slip out of the room safely. I started to go downstairs and I still heard Ben in the kitchen, by now humming something to himself but I couldn't make out what. As I walked in he noticed me straight away, drying his hands on a teatowel then turning to face me
"Alright kid?" I didn't respond. I couldn't put into words the feelings I had about what dom had said. I just wanted to cry but I hesitated to run to Ben for that "Do you want a hug?" I still stood there a little dazed "Cmere. It's okay." He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, letting me hug him rather than holding me too tightly to him. I just felt so safe there that I couldn't help but cry. It wasn't loud sobs or anything, I didn't have the energy for that, but I was still crying nonetheless
"How could they do that? He was just a kid."
"Oh." He said softly "Now I know why you're crying. Was worried there." He kissed the top of my head to reassure that it was okay, but I felt that way anyway "Shh. It's alright." I tried to stop crying and I calmed down, just a little, but enough for him to notice "That's it. Good girl."
"Feel so safe right now." He chuckled "I...I don't mean to be, like, weird or anything. Or...or"
"Shh. Its alright. I get it." I shook my head
"You don't."
"Trust me. I do. That's why I offered you a hug in the first place."
"Should probably let go of you now."
"Do you want to?" I shook my head "I can do a bit longer. You're welcome to come sit on the couch with me. Adam will be back soon."
"Where did he go?"
"He went shopping I think. I don't know. But its not that late. Dom must've just tired himself out getting worked up." I nodded "Do you want something to eat?"
"No. M'good." I started crying again because I couldn't get over it "They fucked him up so bad benji. Why? They've ruined him."
"I know baby. But they can't take it back. And they worked through it. Its okay now." I shook my head
"They can't make that better. What they did hurt everyone. Them poor girls were just kids for fucks sake." He sighed softly, rubbing my back and letting me cry "Can't look them in the eye knowing what happened."
"Then you can spend Christmas here with me then." I shook my head,
"I'll go for dom. He wants me there. And I don't want you to miss out either."
"Look, I'm not meaning to dismiss you and how you feel, but you need to calm down for your own sake. If you keep getting worked up you'll end up making yourself sick." I nodded, and gripped him tighter "I'm okay to let you go right?"
"Right." I confirmed, missing him as soon as he let go but brightening up when I saw he wasn't annoyed with me. Instead he smiled and took the sleeve of his jumper to wipe my face
"Dom will be okay. And so will you."
"I know. Just upset me." He smiled softly
"At least I know that you care about him. He's got a good one in you. I know that one." I chuckled
"And in you. Though I hope he's not planning on getting you pregnant cus that's an awkward one." He let out a laugh at that and it shifted the tension in the room.
"Don't worry. No babies around here except little Sam. Do you wanna stay with me or go up to dom?"
"Dom. If that's okay." He walked up to me and kissed my forehead
"Of course it is sweetheart." He said as he walked past me and went to go out of the room "Rememeber I'm here if you need me."