49. Lessons Learned

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When I returned to the hospital, I found Alan outside Ava’s room, texting someone as he leaned against the wall

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When I returned to the hospital, I found Alan outside Ava’s room, texting someone as he leaned against the wall. I took a step toward him. “Alan.”

“Jim.” He put his phone in the pocket of his lab coat. “Glad you're back.”

I nodded at the door. “And Ava?”

“Asleep. I told Declan to grab some coffee. He said you went to talk to the police. Is anything wrong?”

How did you tell your girl’s dad her accident might not have been such at all?

“They’re looking into it,” I said, ignoring the jab of guilt I felt each time I thought about Ava’s fall. “Listen, I was thinking about taking Ava to my hometown when they let her go, if she agrees, of course. My mom will be happy to look after her.”

“Harper and I could help you two as well, but I like your idea better. It’ll be good for Ava to spend time somewhere quiet, away from the media, in case they find out and write something.”

Alan voiced my fear. Whoever was behind the accident was free. They might know about the baby we lost, and reading about it would be devastating. I needed to give the police time to do their job, and Westmore was a way better hideout than Emerport, where paps watched my every step.

“I’m going to see how Ava is,” I said. “You can go if you have stuff to do.”

“The doctor will stop by later,” Alan said, straightening. “They might let Ava go home soon. Text me if you need me.”

“Will do.”

As soon as Alan left, I texted Dec and let myself into Ava’s room. She was sitting in bed, looking toward the window.

“Baby.”

Teary, blue-gray eyes looked into mine. “I've just remembered we'd go to our first appointment today.”

That was all it took for the world to collapse. At least, it felt as though it fell apart again. I wanted to repeat that I was sorry, but what would it fix?

I sat beside Ava. “Come here.”

She let me hug her, but her body felt tense, and so felt the silence that filled the room as I held her.

“I want to go home,” Ava mumbled a few minutes later. “I can't stand being here.”

“Let's see what the doctor says, okay?” I kissed the top of her head. “I also thought we could go spend a few days at my parents’ if that's okay with you.”

“Yeah. Sure. Virginia called me earlier. She knows.”

The last words of Ava’s were a whisper, and I embraced her tighter but still careful not to apply pressure on her ribs.

For someone who needed to be her rock, I resembled a pile of stones that’d tumble to the ground with the first gust of wind.

***

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