1. Fool

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(A/N: You're going to hate him in this chapter, but bare with me, in the next one you'll understand why he is the way he is. And why he acts like such a dick.)

Btw I'm dyslexic like actually so if you see errors that's why, please let know so i can fix it lol.

He hasn't let go of me as we're still standing in the debriefing room, but it's been quiet after i asked him to take me.

I don't know what's going on inside of his head. As much as i want to convince myself that he's changed, a man who's been broken since birth could never fully change, not for a women he met a few months ago.

I was first to speak,

"So when do we leave?" 

"You're not coming, y/n."

Oh my God.

I pushed him off of me, "The fuck you mean i'm not coming?"

He sighs and try's grabbing me again, but i push him away again.

"Don't be like this, i thought we fixed it."

"No, it'll be fixed once you take me with you." Im now pissed, again.

"This is far too dangerous, something that you wouldn't be able to handle." What the fuck did he just say to me?

"Hold on, what do you mean by 'won't be able to handle it'? Are you calling me weak?"

"Why are you twisting my words?" There goes his temper. "You've never been involved in a mission like this one, our previous one was the biggest one you've been involved in. And you almost got killed, 3 times." He paused, "You're not strong enough."

The more he speaks the more i want to strangle him.

"What the fuck do you mean by that? You're unbelievable." Sexist piece of shit. I attempt to walk away, but he grabs my arm, harshly.

"Ow! What the fuck Simon?" I yelled, "Let go of me!"

"Why do you keep doing this? You always find things to argue about!" He yelled in my face.

"Because you say things and do things that aren't okay!" I yanked my arm out of his strong grip.

"Please just stop with your little tantrums Y/n, God i can't even look at you right now." He pushed past me and nearly knocked me over in the process.

Then, a question popped into my head that i didn't even think of asking before,

"Wait, Were you called for this mission or were you asked to go?"

Silence.

"Answer me, Simon Riley." I grew angrier by the second.

"It was my idea."

"What? So you didn't even want to be with me to begin with? You wanted to get away from me this badly?"

Silence.

"Think what you want to think."

And he walked out. Just like that. What does that even mean?

I stand there. Stunned.

I don't bother running after him. If he wants to leave he can leave. No matter what i do or say, he is alway hurting me.

And you don't do that to someone you 'love'.

What if i was only sex for him? What if all of that "I love you" bullshit wasn't real? Am i over thinking this?

He's right, i always make excuses for his unforgivable actions. Do i even want to be involved with a man like him?

But i can't help it,

I love him.

And i fight for what i love. I don't know if i should keep my distance or not and wait for him to make a move. But what if he never does? What if i'm stuck here, heartbroken over a man who is always hurting me.

Time and time again, he's been fucking with my mind. I've never had a man have this much power over me, and i'm ashamed that i've let him control me so much. The things he has done to me would've drove any sane women away, so why am i any different?

My flight leaves in 6 hours, and i still have hope he'll find me.

_________________________________

Soap is helping put all of my luggage in the car, he's driving me to the airport.

He never came to find me.

I'm such a fool. Soap noticed the look on my face,

"What's wrong?" He knew what was wrong.

"Nothing, just going to miss you is all." And i wasn't lying, i am going to miss him.

"I'm sorry i told you about Simon leaving. I thought he told you. You guys seemed to be so close." He put the car in drive and we left the base. Every man that walks by me, i break my neck trying to see if it's him.

"I thought so too, Soap." I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to explain how much of a coward Ghost was.

Pushing me away so i wouldn't be upset when he left me? Was he choosing to leave me?

I think he knew our argument earlier was going to happen if he told me months ago. And he knew i would try to convince him to take me with him. If i had found out earlier that he was leaving without me, all hell would've broke loose. But what hurt the most was that..

...It was his idea to go.

The Ghosts Are Real (Simon Riley x Reader)Onde histórias criam vida. Descubra agora