NO STRINGS ATTACHED #Jiminfanfic (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 18.

Ember pov:

If it was all right?

All right?

He thought he could show up on my doorstep without warning, without so much as a message, holding a guitar and wearing those black jeans and that leather jacket and was ... was that a motorcycle?

I blinked those thoughts away as I stared at Jimin. Regardless of how good he looked, we still hadn't spoken in weeks. We hadn't talked about Eddie. We hadn't talked about the way that information had sent him spiraling. We hadn't talked about how guilty I felt, how worried I was, or how hurt I'd been that he refused to talk to me.

And, as I processed his words, it was unlikely he was there to talk about it now.

He was there to see Leia.

I'm ashamed to admit I almost closed the door in his face. I almost used my daughter as a punishment, withholding her from seeing someone she cared about simply because I was angry he wasn't there to see me. He wasn't entitled to see her, not really. He wasn't family, he was just her guitar teacher.

Except he wasn't just her guitar teacher.

Not to mention, if Namjoon was working and couldn't make it, Leia would be devastated yet again.

"Don't get her hopes up," I said. "You tell her it's just today. Just today. And if she asks why you aren't teaching her anymore, you say it's because you asked Namjoon to take over because he needs to learn how to teach guitar lessons."

"Okay, but-"

"And if she asks why she can't go to the studio to do her lessons, you say it's because you're fully booked and there's no room."

He nodded.

"You have one hour." My voice broke a bit and I turned away from the door, hoping he didn't notice. "Don't go over."

"Em, wait."

"Leia! Come here please."

"Ember, please."

His voice cracked and the barely-healed scar on my heart had split open. A forlorn yearning, almost physically painful, filled my chest. I swallowed hard, taking a breath before responding.

"I don't hold it against you," I said quietly. "I understand why you had to ... why you didn't call. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt, Jimin. So just ... just do the lesson, okay?"

"Can we-"

"Jimin!" screeched Leia. She practically bowled me over as she raced to the door and threw her arms around him.

I listened from the kitchen over the next hour-and-a-half as Leia chatted at Jimin, her talking interspersed occasionally with the sound of their guitars. I listened to the low rumble of Jimin's voice as he responded to her and his bright laugh when she said something funny. I tried very hard not to picture the smile that accompanied that laugh, that smile that made me melt, knowing that if I did my heart would break all over again, knowing I couldn't have him.

When the one hour mark passed, I almost went in to end the lesson. Instead, I started making dinner.

Half an hour later, I stepped into the living room. Leia was in the middle of playing a new song, Jimin listening carefully as she strummed. I folded my arms, leaning against the doorway as I waited for her to finish.

I didn't owe him anything. I didn't owe him the chance to talk to me, or forgiveness, or an apology, or an explanation for why I wouldn't listen to him. I had done nothing wrong, and really, neither had he. As I watched him quietly listen to Leia's guitar, though, I realized I owed it to myself. I needed closure as much as anything else, and it wasn't worth refusing it just to make a point.