in between the lines

but for the lovers

"Eto po 'yung resibo."

Leni slids her wallet back to her pocket before taking the receipt from the cashier. She casts a pitiful glance at the stuff she always buys at the local grocery store. Packs of instant noodles, canned goods, a box of teabags, and a new bottle of white flower because the one she had before was never returned.

Taking her time, Leni drives past a group of teenagers and families taking pictures of the sea—of the beautiful sunset. She used to love looking at it, too, during the days she was with someone who has a calm appreciation for things as simple as sunsets. Everything was so much brighter with her back then.

When Risa left, Leni found it hard to admire sunsets like before. Perhaps the colors have lost its luster. Always too harsh and never quite depicting the beauty it once held. She did not care for the changes, though. Alam naman niyang she'll be fond of it again soon.

A few minutes later, she reached her house before her thoughts spiral any further.

After getting dressed, she ate her usual dinner and washed the dishes sitting on the sink all day. She sits on the couch and reaches for the blanket that Risa liked to use when she took naps on this couch... Or when she shivers from the sickness that Leni had no idea she was fighting.

She tried watching some documentary she's never heard of because any distraction is better than none. It's one of the few days where loneliness lingers more than the usual. Try as she might to suppress it, Leni's mind unhelpfully supplies her with images of her past love. Of Risa, the bright and friendly woman she was.

It's been a year since Leni held her ashes last—not that she's counting like she's punishing herself, no. A year without contact and not knowing how the other must be doing on the other side. A year of feeling unmoored with no anchor to keep her in place.

Yet for Leni, her death might as well have happened yesterday. It continues to sting like a long, gaping wound that's been carelessly patched up, never permanently treated.

Realizing that Risa was once acceptant of her death brings both relief and a new wave of ache to her chest. She knows Risa had no plans of telling her about it, choosing to live her remaining days in this town. Sometimes Leni tries to forget her because of her selfishness, for the pain she caused. But like the dried out remnants of her plants outside, she refuses to take them away lest she forget the memories they used to carry.

She was not having it. Standing up, she wraps Risa's blanket around her and grabs a bowl of fruit and makes her way toward the seaside.

Leni deeply inhaled the fresh air and updated the waves of what was currently happening in her life, frequently glancing at the bowl of fruits beside her like she was also talking to the person who used to eat them there.

"How are you doing, Ris? And don't even try to ask me the same question because I have not been since you left. I remember what you said–na it would have been nice to go back to the sea."

Hugging her knees, Leni lets a tear escape from her eyes. And another. 'Til there were more tears than she could wipe.

"Go back to me, then. The seat next to me will always be for you."

—

bftl aftermath 1436446 years later – for more context u can read but for the lovers (the first published story on my profile hehe)

hindi ko naman gagawin ire kung dinalaw lang ako ni antok