Superstar ~ Josh Kiszka ~

chapter eight

A week has passed since me and Josh were sitting in my apartment floor.
He would ask to come over or stay the night.

I would allow him to come over but somethings I didn't want us too. I was working on trusting him again.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked while I was cuddled up in his arms.

We were watching a movie I wasn't really paying attention due to a thousand thoughts racing through my mind.

"Just lost in my mind Josh. I'm fine" I answered laying my head on his chest again.

"Are you sure?" He asked his voice more worried.

"I'm sure just tired from working so much this week " I answered Josh.

I lied to him, ever since that night at the club which is now a month ago I haven't been doing well mentally and emotionally. I didn't feel comfortable telling Josh like how I felt comfortable before. I hated to lie to him but I did.

I got off the couch and went to the kitchen and made myself a glass of water, Josh following me shortly after.

"Hey I'm gonna go lay down for a bit I'm not feeling well" I said to Josh giving him a kiss on his lips and walking to the bedroom.

My head was spinning and my stomach was hurting like if I would throw up. Inside my mind I was hoping I wasn't pregnant or maybe it's because I've overworked myself. I don't know.

I took my pants off so I would feel more comfortable laying down and not burning up either. I laid my head down on my bed with the covers up to my face and fell asleep.

During a strange dream I woke up and rolled over, found Josh laying next to me. He had his head on the pillows with his eyes completely shut, the covers hardly on him either I probably pulled them off him.

I poked Josh to get his attention but he didn't move. He was a deep sleeper I guess.

"How long have you been in here and how long was I asleep?" I asked Josh poking at his arm a little bit more. 

"Baby stop" Josh said in a low voice.

"I know you heard me" I said back to him poking him a bit more.

"You've been asleep since 6pm" Josh said to me.

He sat up slowly and groaned a little and looked over at me.

"It's nice having you in here Josh after all we went through" I said to him kissing his shoulder.

"I came in here a couple of hours ago but you didn't hear me" Josh said to me as I was kissing his neck.

"I still love you Josh. I never hated you and even if you thought I hated you that wasn't me" I said to Josh.

He pulled me in his lap and he started to kiss my lips.

"Even though I was dancing with Taylor I knew my heart belongs with you" Josh said in between kisses.

"What about what Jake said?" I said as I stopped kissing Josh and looked at him.

Both of us sitting in the glow of the darkness on my bed with messy bedsheets.

"What did he say?" Josh asked shooting his eyes at me.

"He said you used me as a booty call and you loved Taylor more than me" I answered Josh looking away from him because deep down I felt like Jake was right.

"That's a lie Hannah I swear to God he's lying" Josh explained.

"Well it didn't feel like a lie" I said to Josh and moving further away from him.

"He's jealous, he's going through a hard breakup and wants to take it out on us" Josh said to me swearing up and down that's he is right.

"You promise me?" I asked feeling helpless in my tracks.

Josh reached his arms out and pulled me close to him and there I was back in his endless embrace I long for everyday he leaves.

"Baby I promise, it won't ever happen again I promise" Josh answered and moved my hair away and kissed my neck holding me in his arms.

Me and Josh sat up and talked for a bit he was telling me how excited he was about doing some shows here soon and wanting to bring me with him.

Then that feeling of sickness came over me and I was rushing to the bathroom to throw up in the toilet

"Are you okay?" Josh said to me kneeling down and holding my hair back.

"No I'm not, it's been like this for a week" I said to Josh reaching for a rag.

"A week?" Josh asked while wetting me a rag and patting my face.

He held me in the bathroom floor patting the cold rag on my face and neck to cool me down. 

"I think I need to see a doctor sometime this week or next week" I said to Josh feeling weak and just wanting to lay down.

"I think you should too" Josh replied to me and carried me to bed.

He laid me down on the bed and covered me up making me feel like a sick child. Then he came and laid down next to me, his arms wrapping around my body that felt like it was on fire but I felt cold at the same time.

"I love you" I said to Josh before I fell asleep into a fever dream.

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Two days passed and I went to see a doctor just to find out it was stomach bug and I wasn't pregnant. It brought some relief to me but also some sadness in a way. Later that day Josh had a gig he was playing and I came for support. I was wanting to fix our relationship with each other.

We showed up to the bar the boys were playing at and I ran into Jake but didn't have much to say to him, when Josh was getting dressed I more so stayed around Danny and Sam.

"I see you and Josh fixed things" Jake said to me. I didn't turn around but eventually I did.

"Working on it" I said to Jake keeping it short.

"Hey I'm sorry about what I said, Josh was a wreck without you and I can't explain how bad I felt for him" Jake apologized to me.

I looked up at him a little bit confused but also happy he owned up to what he did.

"Thank you Jake I needed to hear that" I said to Jake giving him hug.

I didn't want any hate between me and Josh's brothers.

"Are we on good ground again?" Jake asked poking my arm.

"Yes we are I promise" I answered Jake smiling.

Josh walked in the room sometime later and hugged me from behind. This is what I've missed.

During the night I stayed close to Josh the whole time like how it was when I first met him. It was just us.

"How about we leave this place? They won't really notice" Josh said to me looking over his shoulder and back at me wanting my approval.

"I say let's go" I said to Josh while getting my purse and made our way to the door.

The crowd wasn't as huge as last time but still we got pushed around a few good times. We made it out to the street and Josh looked at me.

I pulled him close to me and our lips touched forming into a kiss.

"I've missed us being like this Josh" I said in his arms back in my safe place.

"Me too I longed for nights like this again" Josh said to me pulling me closer.

After our kiss we walked down the street and went anywhere we wanted for the rest of the night.